True Love.

It is looking less like "We got a new kitty" and more like, "We got Buddy a new kitty."

Another reason why she is amazing...

D: Mom...
M: Yes?
D: Sometimes I feel really bad.
M: Why, kiddo?
D: Because I know there are a lot of people out there who don't have as I much as I do in this life. I'm so happy, and so many kids don't have that. So, sometimes I feel really bad for them...
M: I am so proud of you.
D: Mom
M: Yes?
D: You are so cool.

awwwwwwww.....

Most. Amazing. Kid. Ever.

Happy 14th Birthday!!

My baby turned 14 yesterday! I can hardly wrap my mind around it. The time has just flown by!

We had a wonderful party, and lots of fun family time. She had Ladro pie instead of cake. We are big fans of Cafe Ladro pie. We even had it instead of wedding cake at our wedding!
She got a Wii fit game, so we have all been playing on the balance board today.

Yesterday, the girls made "Haunted houses" out of chocolate graham crackers and candy. That was great fun.

Here are some of their wonderfully creative creations:





It did turn into a frosting mustache and mono-brow contest, which was also fun, but too close to my brand new couch as far as I was concerned. Luckily, the chocolate stayed on the faces and in the tummy's and off of the furniture!

Now, I am ready to sleep for a week.

Here is a funny photo from when Darian was less than a year old. She was sad because her friend had just left with her mom. I always thought it was an adorable photo.

Since many of you asked...

What happened with the kitten?
I tried to adopt him off to a wonderful home, but it turns out he was not having it. As soon as I left he turned into a bit of a Tasmanian devil kitty and didn't act normal again until I came to pick him up the next day. It seems he and I bonded more than I realized. As soon as I brought him home, he started acting like he owned the place. He is healthy, happy and has become a fast member of the family.

Since they say, "A picture is worth a 1000 words", I give you the answer to your question:

Moo, doing what he does best these days.

Be the bacon!!

If I didn't already have my costume, I might have tried to talk Bree into being the bacon!

As of about 5 minutes ago...

the sweet little feral kitten is now letting me pet him and give him scratches behind his ears. He was purring and rolling around for most of the last half hour.
This is a major success because now he is a huge leap forward to getting into his new home. That is all I could have dreamed for him. It is really hard to not want to take him myself after all of the work, I've become quite attached to the little kitty, but I know he will be happy in one of the possible new homes. He has really stolen the hearts of the whole neighborhood.
I can't explain how exciting it has been watching this process unfold. It is strange to think that this is the same kitty who I first saw a month ago crouching and hissing under the dumpster. He ran from everything and everyone. The neighbors and I were putting out food for him. The upstairs neighbor broke the ice by getting him to get closer to the doors, then I moved the food that I was giving him closer to my door. I spent the majority of my day off sitting in the sun with and playing with him with a toy and a string. That really broke the ice. Then I bought him a cat bed, which I put near the food. It took a day for him to get used to lounging in it. The next evening, I came home form work and he was lounging in the bed waiting for me to get home.
He has been like that for the last few nights. Tonight, I got home and there he was. I fed him, we talked, we played for a bit, then the neighbor came down and took over for a while. I went back out later and he was purring in his cat bed. I slowly reached my hand out to him and this time, he let his guard down and let me pet him. He went from a super scared feral kitten to a super sweet kitten who purrs when he gets scratches behind his ears. It was the purest most amazing thing I've witnessed in a very long time. I think he will be ready by the end of the weekend to go to a new home.

Can you say no to this face?

This is a little Feral kitty that I've been feeding outside of my apartment. He is finally to a point where he trusts me enough to come to me when I call and he even sat on my lap today. He is still very scared around other people, but improves every day.
I'd really love to see him find a nice home. I think with some work he could be a very lovable little guy. He is just really scared of humans right now. He LOVES other cats though! He gets super happy and purrs when he spots my cats by the door!
I think he would be happiest in a home with another cat, but that doesn't mean that a person without one should not adopt him. I would just love to see him find a nice place to live. I know a couple neighbors have been considering taking him in, but if you know anyone who wants to be considered, please drop me a line! I would love to take him, but we already have two cats, and Ripley has lost his vision over the last year. I'm not sure how well he would do with a new cat right now.
Here is another adorable photo of the little guy chilling on the little cat bed I got for him. (It is shaped like a cat, I thought he might like it since he reacts so well to my cats.)

RIP Wasabi

My hammie, Wasabi passed away today. My heart is broken. He was my favorite. He just hit his 2nd birthday this month. They told me dwarf hammies only live to be 12-18 moths, so I did get a lot of extra time with him.
Here is a photo of him, and a doodle I made of him.

Why all the vids?

Because I got new editing software that I'm all excited about learning how to use. I spent the good part of yesterday going through all of the random footage I have on my computer. One of the major upsides to said new software is that it can handle the better/higher res format video files that the HD camera Jon's mom gave us last year creates. It was awesome having a cool camera, but sad that I could not use it because I had no way to edit, now we can! I'm planning on using it a bunch. (Not that most of you who only see stuff on my youtube will notice, because you have to reduce it so much to upload. But I can see the difference. I even made my first honest to goodness DVD, with menus and everything!)

There are a few mistakes on the vids, for instance, I spelled Gavin's last name with one "s" on the first one, and I typed in "2009" on one of the Jon vids, but I guess that is not too bad. There is certainly a learning curve. After several hours of messing with the controls, I think I'm starting to get a handle on the software.

One more just for fun...

KITTENS!

He's got two tickets.....

I May Hate You Sometimes (Live)

six feet under - Jon Auer

Yesterday in Tacoma.

With You - Gavin & Jon


Oceans Cracked - Gavin Guss



Enjoy!

Best costume ever!

I found my Halloween costume today! It is a dress very similar to the dresses worn by those Polygamist wives who were all over the news a few months back.
Now if I could just get my hair just right. How does one get that much "air" in the front? Hair spray?

I will also have to watch these videos to get the robot voice pattern down. I don't know if it is an accent or just too many years of cult programming.

You've changed so much but it's still you.

Some mornings you wake up and you just know what is going to happen. No matter what you do, you can't stop it from happening.

This morning I woke up thinking about a person who I have not seen or talked to in 13 years. Someone who used to be very important to me, but is now someone I don't ever want/need to see again. In a strange way I still see glimpses of him every day, but that is only because my daughter happens to share chromosomes with him.

This morning I woke up and started going through my day in my head. Then I thought, "We will be on Broadway school shopping. What will I do if I see him there?"
You see, I got word he might be passing through Seattle about a week ago, but really I have not spent a lot of time thinking about it until today. I went through all of the possible scenarios in my head and decided I was worrying for nothing. The odds are a million to one I would ever see him.

We got dressed, and went on our merry way. We went down to hit the first store, picked up some cute things, and like I called it into being, I stepped out the front door of the store and right into him. The face I've been avoiding for the last 13 years was right in front of mine looking me in the eye.
We locked eyes. It was like it was happening in slow motion. First that somewhat confused look that says, "Where do I know you from?" then the look like they are flipping through their mental Rolodex, and then the "BINGO!" look of recognition.
I swear, we locked eyes for all of two seconds, but it felt like a lot longer. It was long enough to watch his expression go from confused to down right icy.
I wonder what my face looked like? I will have to guess shocked. I bet my mouth was even a bit agape.
He has the same face, just a lot older. It looked like life has been unkind to him. It seemed he was carrying all of his worldly possessions on his back. His friends looked like your typical Seattle street punks. Basically, not much has changed other than his apparent lack of an address.

It is funny how life works. If I had hesitated for ten seconds I would have missed him in the crowd on the street on this busy shopping day.
It is also weird how I run into him today, where if it had been last weekend I would have had two of his children he doesn't know with me! I'm not sure what I am supposed to be getting out of all of this, or if it is all just one giant coincidence, but it sure is a lot to swallow.

At least he lent me the kindness of continuing to walk and not stopping to meet the grown child he has never met. If he tried to talk to her, I don't know what I would have done. After we locked eyes, he turned his head, eyes forward, and kept walking. I just stood there watching him like a protective mother tiger ready to attack if need be, making sure he walked away before I let Darian come out of the store entry. When he reached the end of the block, he turned and looked at us one last time and then disappeared in the crowd.
It shook me to the core as much as it left her un-phased. Jon has always been her dad, so it didn't mean much to her. She was more concerned with how obviously shaken I was by the whole thing. That makes sense, I have 5 years of crazy history with him from before she was born, he was long gone before she was born. At the end of the day, chromosomes don't mean much.

I was not shaken because I am somehow afraid of him, in fact, it probably would not have bothered me as much if she was not with me. It is just instinctual. I've spent the last 13 years trying to protect her from him and that world he chose to live in.
It's interesting how two people who used to know each other so well, who lived together so long, who's lives were so intertwined, could have turned out so differently in such a relatively short span of time in the whole grand scheme of things.

I hope that is the only reunion we will ever have. Some things are better left buried in the past.



"Right now I'm hearing nothing but silence
High beams are on - I can feel you
Every piece contains a little bit of violence
and you've changed so much but it's still you."
-Ben Lee

Hang the DJ

Speaking of Pandora...
I've been working on a station of my favorite songs. In theory, if you have Pandora you should just be able to click here and you will be on my station (It is called Dreamingviola Radio.) If you don't, it only takes a second to sign up and you don't have to download anything at all, you just need a decent internet connection.

Enjoy!

Opening pandora's box was not so bad after all....

I was recently introduced to Pandora. For those of you living under a rock, like I apparently was, Pandora is an intuitive streaming internet radio device.
It is awesome!
It is free, you get to hear loads of new music without commercials, and you get to kind of guide it along by inserting your favorite music/artists/songs.

For instance, today I created a station by just inputting the song Everyone Moves Away by The Posies. Pandora took that song and played a long string of songs with similar qualities. This is a mix of new songs that I really enjoyed and can now go buy off of iTunes if I want to. (Actually, I'm extra excited about being introduced to so many great new songs because I was getting pretty tired of my iPod play lists. I've been really jonsing for something new to listen to.)

Here are the new songs I found today from just adding that one title to my new Pandora station:

Song Name- Artist
I'm Only Sleeping- Jeff Rolka
Following A Red Balloon- Bart Davenport
Welcome Home- Radical Face
Mistress And Maid (Demo)- Elvis Costello
Lazy Man (live)- Blue Dogs And Friends
Social Frankenstein- Waste Of Aces
Andalucia- Yo La Tengo
Caroline- Kirsty MacColl
Hiding Behind The Moon- Jeff Hanson
Drift Away- Tim Oxley
Abomination- Art In Manila
Holyrollercoaster- Alan Singley & Pants Machine
It's Simple- Rose Hill Drive
A Plain Morning- Dashboard Confessional
Say It To Me Now- Glen Hansard
Holy Ground- Kan'nal

D & her big brother

Darian's older brother came to visit us this last weekend. The last time they saw one another, she was less than a year old, now he is 18 and living in Oregon.
We showed him around Seattle and they spent as much QT together as they could in four days.
I was going to write a long blog about all of it, but it seems all too personal. So, instead, I will just tell you that it was a pleasure to have him here, and our time together went too fast. I look forward to seeing him again sooner than later. Here is a sweet photo of the two of them at The Triple Door.

Em & her little brother

Playing "Spaceman"


More of Em & her brother HERE




"I wanted to go to the moon

I knew that it had to be fun

I told 'em to send me real soon

I wanted to be a spaceman

I wanted to be it so bad

But now that I am a spaceman

I'd rather be back on the pad"
-H.N.

My new curves...

I had surgery in my mouth on Friday. Now, I've had plenty of dental work over the years. A root canal is no big thing to me, but this was different. I have a genetic mutation that makes the very end of my roots curved. My teeth are straight, just the very tips of the roots have little hooks.
Most dentists find this very difficult to deal with if I need a root canal because it is hard to get back into the curved tip. Like everything else with me, I just have to be difficult. My dad says he is the same way, so I guess I inherited it from him.
I have even had a few dentists who won't work on them. They are of the mind I need a specialist. I've had good luck so far, and managed to not have any problems.

Recently, I started having a pain in the back on my jaw and my ear. Turns out on the very last top tooth, my root canal was infected. I didn't even know it could get infected after you've had a root canal and crown, but I guess it can.
Since it was already worked on, roots filled with cement, etc, there is only one way to get to it. Yes, go in through the top! EWWW!
I imagined something small, like a teeny incision and a little cleaning and it was over. I mean, I'm the girl who went camping hours after having all four wisdom teeth pulled. No big, right? I'm tough and I've never met a tooth issue that could slow me down.
I never expected what happened. I walked out with nine stitches from the back to nearly the front of my mouth. It was horrible. I slept for like a million hours and woke up looking like someone had punched me in my cheek. It was crazy. Half my face was not working. Luckily I could part my hair to cover that side of my face, but it was still too weird to be seen in public.
I woke up this morning, and it looks almost normal again. At least I am recovering quickly, but it isn't something I want to do again!

Another way to say goodbye.

My Sunday morning ritual is pretty much the same every week. I wake up, get coffee and settle in to read this week's installment of Post Secret.
I have a feeling that my Sunday morning ritual is similar to many people around the world. It is a pretty amazing community art project. It is art that lives and grows and breaths. I can't explain just how much I love it.
My favorite part is deciphering secrets that are not obvious. There was a perfect example of this kind of secret today.

This is a scene from one of my all time favorite movies, Brief Encounter. I recognized it immediately. This moment in the movie always leaves me with a lump in my throat. It is that moment that all good movies have where you know it is coming, but when you get to it, it still hits you like a slap in the face. Here is the scene on Youtube. You should really see this movie if you have not already.

Know when to walk away, know when to run.

I've had to deal with my fair share of crazy over the years. I think some of it is a part of growing up and part of it has to do with growing up in Alaska. Most of it was when I was a teenager.

There are so many "new" kinds of mental problems out there that I don't recall ever being warned about.
I wonder if it has something to do with the chemicals in the food or the water or just the population boom.
More people = more crazies?


In high school, I dated a boy for a very short period of time. We were never super close. He was trying to push the sex thing by the 2nd month we dated and I am not that kind of girl, so I broke it off with him.
I was very clear with him, I told him if he wanted to sleep with someone he need not be dating me. Since it never got too serious, I assumed the break up would be a little hard but not really painful. All break ups are hard.

WRONG.

He reacted to my breaking up with him by calling my house non-stop and showing up at my school, my job and at both of my parent's places unannounced and a lot.
When I refused to see him and told him to leave me alone, he broke into our house, stole a bunch of stuff including some of my journals and super valuable irreplaceable things that did not belong to me.
It was horrible and I never felt safe again. At least we knew who it was right away, but that didn't help much.
I went to school and started crying in my first period class, told my teacher about the break in. My teacher had the good sense to alert the school. It is a good thing he did, because the guy showed up at school that day, looking for me, and he had a gun! I didn't find out any of that until after he was arrested and suspended that he had been walking through the halls demanding to know where I was. It was a good thing I didn't eat lunch in my usual spot that day! On a whim I decided to have lunch somewhere else.
This was a time before school shootings and zero tolerance, so for what he did, and what he might have been planning to do, he barely got a slap on the wrist since it was two months before his 18th birthday. If that were to happen today, he would probably be doing hard time right now.

I don't understand at what point a person goes from seemingly normal to being able to justify acting that crazy to themselves. At what point did he say, "I am justified in breaking into her house and stealing from her family because she hurt my feelings!"

You hear about these husbands who kill their spouses because they don't want to deal with a messy divorce. When did that Peterson guy wake up and say, "Today I'm OK with killing my pregnant wife so I can make room for my lover."

When you see someone so obviously slipping down that slope and heading to crazy land, is there anything you can do to stop them? Do restraining orders really work? I mean it is just a bit of paper. Is that going to be enough of a wake up call for that person who doesn't take a hint, or is it just poking the bear? Would a restraining order have stopped my ex from breaking into my parent's house or would it have just mad him so angry that he would have come looking for me again right out of prison?

At what moment does interest turn to obsession? When does anger turn to blind fury that these people risk their whole futures for? How do you spot it in advance so you know to avoid it? How do you teach your kids to steer clear of it?

I was thinking about that boy, he was sweet, attractive, decent grades, from the outside he looked like he had a future as a good person with a good life to look forward to. Even my parents liked him. He was the most "Normal" guy I ever dated. He was a good looking football player with a row of perfect white teeth when he smiled, who opened doors and called my parents Sir and Ma'am. Nothing like the crazy Goth Punk rockers I usually went out with.

At what moment did he decide to throw it all away because a girl decided she wasn't ready for something more serious than he wanted from her?


My daughter is entering the year where a lot of girls get their first boyfriends at school. She isn't interested right now, but someday that will change and I will need to be ready for it. It's not just 'Stranger Danger' anymore. Now there are school shootings, kids on experimental medications left and right, drugs, Myspace, Facebook, suicide and pregnancy pacts, web sites that are pro-eating disorders and cutting... the list goes on and on and on and on...

Sometimes it just feels so overwhelming, everything that parents need to know to look for, how much we need to trust that they will stay protected when we send them to school or when they are out of our site, out on their own.

When she was a baby, she was so easy. She was sweet, never fussy and smiled and laughed all of the time. People with boys would tell me that even though boys were a handful when they were little, they were easier when they were older than girls. As my daughter gets older, and remains an amazing student and a wonderful person who is a joy to be around I keep waiting for the shoe to drop.
Now I'm beginning to think I heard it wrong. It isn't her who is going to change and go all crazy over night, it is the world around her that changes and gets so much harder for me to deal with and protect her from.





"Every breath you take
And every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
Ill be watching you

Every single day
And every word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay
Ill be watching you"
-Sting

The landslide will bring it down...

*I'm actually writing this blog on Sunday evening, but I am going to set it to post on Monday afternoon. At that point, I will have put in my notice and it will be OK to go public.

Today I will be putting in my notice at work. I've been at The Stranger for 4 years. I have a lot of love for the people I work with. I've made some very good friends over the years.
It has been an exciting place to work. I have a lot of pride in the fact that I have had the chance to work for such a cool place for so long.

I've done some really fun things that I would not have otherwise had the chance to do, including having my art on the cover a few months back.

It is going to be hard to change, but I'm excited about the change.

Emerson said:
“For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.”

That seems appropriate right now. I hope I can stay in touch with the people who I've come to know and love as my "Daytime Roomies", it is with a heavy heart that I leave them. But the new office, and the new co-workers seem equally as cool. I'm very much looking forward to the new adventure.


"Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Well, Ive been afraid of changing
cause I've built my life around you.
But time makes you bolder,
even children get older and
I'm getting older too..."
-Fleetwood Mac

Tsk! Tsk!

There was a funny wedding moment. Not funny as it happened, but "look back on it and laugh" kind of funny.
Every wedding has one of these moments. Ours was when we got the tuxes to the guys and they were completely the wrong size. Jon's tux was meant for a man about 3 feet taller and one foot wider than him and the kid's were way too small. My mother-in-law took a stapler and tailored his tux right on the spot. The kids looked like they were wearing knickers. Nobody was the wiser! Crisis averted.
At the wedding this weekend, the crisis was all on me, and nobody knew it happened until after, when it was fixed, and we could laugh.
Since I was doing the ceremony, I had a script all printed out and ready to go. It was typed in a nice large font so I could glance down and read it through the ceremony if I lost my place. It was laid out exactly how i wanted it to be.
I practiced the night before. I got up in the morning before everyone else and I went over to a local coffee place while I waited for Jon and Darian to wake up.
Jon called my cell and informed me that we moved over one room, but they got all of our stuff. No problem.
Well, about two hours before the wedding I went looking for the script and could not find it. I tore apart the room and the luggage.
I went to our last room and went through there. I asked the front desk if they had a printer I could use, they said they only had a copy machine. This was a VERY tiny boutique place, so they didn't have stuff like fancy computer systems. Our rooms had ACTUAL KEYS not key cards! (I know!!)
Just as I had given up and succumb to the fact that I was going to spend the next hour handwriting this ceremony on cards, there was a knock on the door. It was the lovely man from the front desk. He actually dug through the trash and found my file folder. Luckily they stuck it in the paper trash for recycle, so it was not damaged or smelly.
The day was saved!
It would have been fine either way, but it sure would be a lot harder for me to read my terrible handwriting under pressure in front of people than my fancy script was to read.

Phew!

Now please enjoy this photo of a very sassy Licia showing us how to eat cake! YUM!

You may kiss the bride....

The reason we were on the beach all weekend is because our friend's Licia and Todd got married!! It was a beautiful wedding and a perfect weekend. I had the honor of performing the wedding ceremony thanks to the Internets making me a Reverend and all! I've never done it before but everyone said I did a great job.

There was one point where I looked up and saw how he was looking at her and I almost burst into tears right then and there! He had such a look of love on his face when he looked at his beautiful bride. It was so perfect. I managed to compose myself for the most part (I did have a voice crack here and there.) I was so proud to be included in the ceremony.

Congrats my dear friends! I am SO happy for you!

It is delicious and it gives you Zombie mouth!!

My lovely friend, Licia and I have a common love/lust for the deliciousness of Black Liquorice Ice Cream. We have bonded over it and searched far and wide throughout the greater Seattle area to find it.
We have a pact, if we ever find it, we will buy a lot and share. It is certainly an acquired taste, but once you are hypnotized by it's deliciousness, you crave it constantly. We have yet to find a place in Seattle where we can buy it.
I am considering trying to experiment with making it on my own, but I'v never had very good luck making Ice Cream, so if anyone has an easy recipe for it, let me know!
Licia told Jon of a place about about 7 miles from where we were staying on the beach this weekend. While Licia and I were floating on the beautiful lake catching rays, he went and purchased all they had left in the little ice cream shop and brought it home to us for my birthday treat! We were super happy and as a bonus it gave us Goth mouth!! Darian said we looked like something out of a Zombie movie after we ate a ton of the stuff.

MMMMMMM... Delicious AND fun!!

It's my birthday, I can swim if I want to.

OK, so I am still on the beach. I blew off Seattle, going back to work, etc. We were swimming all day yesterday and knew we would be very sad if we left, so I figured I'd treat myself to one more day (For the sake of my birthday of course!)
It has been a beautiful weekend.
It was a perfect wedding.
I will have loads to report tomorrow.
Right now I am officially one year older and the beach is calling me!

Tid-Bits

Random things I learned in the last 72 hours:

Sticky ear wax in women is an indicator that you might get breast cancer.

Lips shrink as you get older! I knew your ears and nose still grew, but I didn't know your lips shrunk! And what happens to those Muppet Mouthed types with no lips to begin with? Do they get full on face innies?

Angelina Jolie might play Catwoman in the next Batman movie! (Not really a surprise)

There is a thing called the 3-day novel contest and I'm thinking about doing it this year! Why not? I have loads of story sketches in my head and I wasn't planning on going to Bumbershoot anyhow!

Cute pics from Ollie's birthday

Top 3 favorite pics I took yesterday:

In color!

Here is my new hair.
I like it. I feel like it suits me. I think I might stick with this one for a while.

SWOON!

OK, I will admit, whenever I come across this video I get a little weak in the knees. It is Jon from the purple hair era, when we first met. I LOVED the purple hair and have so many amazing memories from when we first met, 13 years ago, that all come flooding back when I see this video.
I just came across it by chance on youtube and I swear I made a little happy "EEP!" sound while watching it. (For my relatives who have not really met Jon, he is the one singing in this video.) There is a shot at the end where he has his hair back. I will admit, if I were not such a lady, I may have licked my monitor.

My weekend looked a lot like this.

I got my hair dyed back to a very dark brown. No more roots! :


I watched this movie (Which I really loved and agree with everyone about the Joker. AMAZING! and heartbreakingly sad.):


I read this book and loved it:


So, of course, I started reading this book, but I don't know if I love it as much. It has too many Werewolves so far. I really like books with Vampires, not so much down with the Werewolves. (I don't have any real logic behind this. It just is what it is.):



But even though I don't LOVE the 2nd book yet, I'm still SUPER excited to see this move in December:

It is like looking in a mirror! (Tongue firmly planted in cheek)

What do these ladies have in common? Well, these are all ladies that I have been compared to with regularity pretty much every time I go to a place with a large group of people.
I'm flattered, I really am. I just find it amusing which people get brought up the most. I mean, you name any star with big almond eyes, high cheekbones and full lips, and some drunktard has probably told me I look "Just like her" while I've been out at a club. It is amazing how beer goggles can morph anyone into somebody else!

But these particular women come up with such regularity in alcoholic and non-alcoholic situations, so there has got to be something there. What I find most interesting is that they come up more depending on what age I was/am.

From 1992-1998 I got Geena Davis and/or Robin Wright-Penn ALL of the time:
















































When I had a brief stint of orange/blond/red hair I heard Toni Collette:



























Then right around 2004-now I started hearing Rachel McAdams:




















Hey! At least I am getting younger!!!

Words.

There is so much that I don't remember that I wish I did and so much that I remember clearly that I wish I did not.

I'm glad I've been keeping journals for so long. Going through old notebooks, I wish I was better at putting dates on things. I thought it was charming that I used to journal by just flipping it open and writing whatever on the first empty page. Now, some 20 years later, I don't think it is charming, it looks like a load of random thoughts written by a person with really bad A.D.D. Haha!

Some of the stuff is very good, but it is written in a way that, back then, I thought I would recall every reference and secret nod. Now, I remember well enough to know some of it was written in code, just not well enough to have any idea what any of it means!

Is life like that? Are we forgotten after we die as quickly as we forget our own life while we were alive? That is a scary thought.



PS- Speaking of words, did I mention that my dad has a blog now!!! Check it out! That means both of my parents, my favorite Auntie, a cousin or two, and my older brother are all blogging. Now, if we could just get my youngest brother on a computer, it would be the whole gang!

The strangest dream.

I just woke up. I am in the process of getting ready to go to work, but I can't get the crazy dream I had last night out of my head.

I dreamt that every stuffed animal, porcelain animal figurine, and animal shaped toy I've ever owned came to life last night and they were all following me around looking for attention and food. It was so weird. I had curio cabinets all over the house with things scratching on the doors begging to be let out.

There is no real point to this other than the fact that it was really funny and maybe even a little terrifying but it was so unusual I had to post it. I always have vivid dreams, but this one was a bit stranger than most.

Take me out to the ball game...

This is another one I got from my dad. I think it is so cute.


My dad is the tall guy with glasses on the end, all the way to the left, my Grandfather is the coach. This was in Muskegon, MI in the 60's.

Jack J Price, Sr - April 28, 1932 – July 15, 2003

*Originally posted 7/15/04


His empty chair...
Nothing has ever looked quite as empty
As that chair
Sitting there in the morning light
With his impression still outlined in his blanket
Tossed across the back
Like it was waiting for him to return from the other room
and pick up from where he left off


I stand in front of it
Like I am waiting for him to appear
As if I am somehow seeing through him
but he is really there


This empty shrine
To how things used to be
And will never be again
shows that everything changes in an instant
but nothing ever moves


I sit down in his chair
And I am immediately surrounded by the smell of his aftershave
And body chemistry
That has become a part of the chair
The thing that gives it life
And hangs on to who he was


I remember all of the times I climbed in his lap in this very chair
when I was small and young
and he was here
How it always seemed safe there with him
How he was stronger than anyone

No one would dare to try and hurt you when you were with him


And how years later
I saw the same dance performed for me
with my own daughter taking my place


He was a man who knew who he was
Lived his life the way he wanted to
And didn't take any grief from anyone


He was a man who would speak his mind
And stand up for the people he loved without hesitation
He was as fierce as he was forgiving
Stubborn as he was gentle
Flawed but fearless when it came to facing the world

He may not have been perfect
But he was ours and we were of him

He was the right cocktail of love, respect, grit and fear....
And when I watched the light leave his face
Saw him take his final breath
I knew the world was never going to be the same.

He was my grandfather and I love him.

My dad invented the indy rock look!

My dad's birthday is coming up and we were talking today about how cool I think he looked when he was a teen. He doesn't think the look was cool back then, but he is ultra hip by today's standards. Just look at these photos! Isn't he adorable?!

FOUR (going on thirteen)

Four years ago today....

So, that makes this our Linen/Silk anniversary.