Wednesday, February 28, 2007

I heard it through the grapevine...

It has been brought to my attention that a relative of mine is very upset with me for something that I wrote on here. I looked over the particular blog entry in question and didn't see anything wrong with it.

When I asked what it was exactly that upset them this is the answer I got:

"Well, I didn't actually read what you wrote, but someone told me about it."

I'm speechless.

“Imagine books and music and movies being filtered and homogenized. Certified. Approved for consumption. People will be happy to give up most of their culture for the assurance that the tiny bit that comes through is safe and clean. White noise.”
-Dialdar Chuck Palahniuk

Sunday, February 25, 2007

This is just like television, only you can see much further.

I grew a perfect sunflower in the garden in front of my apartment. It was so perfect it almost didn't look real.
I had spent so much of my time and money on my little 3x8 patch of dirt, planting flowers and bulbs and seeds. Adding a birdbath and a feeder. Weeding it and watering it every day.
It became something that people would stop to admire. Little old ladies would catch me out there in my gardening gloves pruning and planting and weeding and they would chat with me about the colors I chose and how Jon brought some of the bulbs all the way from Holland. It attracted pretty birds and tons of butterflies. It was my very own little oasis in the middle of the city.

Right in the middle of the garden grew one perfect sunflower. Bright and happy surrounded by reds and purples. I didn't even plan it that way, it grew from a random birdseed, which made it even more special. Like a magical little thank you from the garden for taking such good care of it.

One morning I woke up and went to water my garden. I found that someone not only broke my birdbath but they also picked the sunflower. There was nothing left but a little stumpy stem sticking out of the ground.

After that I let the garden die. I just completely neglected it. I let the weeds take over, and let the summer heat dry up the flowers and I let everything die.

Now there is nothing left but a lot of dirt.

I keep wondering if I should bother trying to plant anything this year. I keep trying to find the desire to start over again. Just because I was angry about what someone who didn't even know me, did to me, I let the whole thing go to waste. I let all of it die. All because some random passerby decided to steal my sunflower which never really belonged to me to begin with.

How do you start over again?
Is it possible?
Will it ever be the same again or is it possible it might be even better this time?

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