Saturday, March 04, 2006

Everyone Moves Away

Please forgive, for they know not what they've done
And if they did, they'd surely resurrect their trust
Promises were made to break and the family kept its end
And now your answer, my friend,
Is blowing in one head and out the other
But you will find yourself
You will recognize and realize
Even when you can't forget
The times they tried you, things denied you, inside the big nameless house
From which everyone moves away, everyone moves away

Growing up in severed states of mind
Can cause you to go blind more than twice
And now we're hurt by the words we've never said
The wounds you never bled
Just aggravate your head until they've gone

But you will like yourself
You will verify and vocalize
Even when you can't forget
That when you stayed you, they betrayed you, inside the big nameless house
From which everyone moves away, everyone moves away

Try to wipe away the traces of people, places, childhood spaces
Etched upon your memory, like the way that we were raised
In our backyard we were left no time to think
The blood that turned to ink spelled neglect
Now there's no sun and the grass is overgrown
The sacred seed they've sown is utterly alone and scared to death

But you will free yourself
You will cut the cord and cauterize
And if you ever feel an urge
To look behind you, let this remind you
We both grew up in the same house
From which everyone moves away, everyone moves away
Everyone moves, everyone moves
Everyone moves away


Released on Dear 23, 1990
Written by Jon Auer & Ken Stringfellow.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

The Best Kind of News...

Almost two years ago I lost my friend and co-worker to Cancer. He was a good man. I cared quite a bit about him. We traveled together for work a couple of times a year and I got to know him well. I considered him a very close friend.
One of the things he talked about a lot was how much he loved his wife. He was crazy about her. I never met her in person, but I felt like I knew her after working with him for a few years and hearing so much about her.
His death was a complete shock.
He didn't want anyone to know he had been diagnosed with Cancer because he thought he would beat it. He was very proud, it made sense that he didn't tell us. I had not heard from him in a few weeks so I sent him an email and told him I was beginning to worry about him.
I came in on a Tuesday after a long weekend and had an email sitting in my inbox that said he had died over the weekend. I walked out of my office and sat down on the dock near the water (Our office was on a lake) and I cried.
I left that job not long after.
About a year after his death his widow got in touch with me. It seems he wanted to leave me a very special bottle of wine. It is one we had talked about. It is rare and priceless. He had intended to give it to me as a wedding gift.
She and I started talking one night and we ended up on the phone for hours. We told each other stories about her husband. It was really nice getting to know her finally.
We ended the conversation with her telling me, "I bet we would have been really good friends if we lived in the same city."
I said, "I think you are right."
She called me and told me she had the flu and could not mail the bottle. I told her not to worry and to send it whenever, I could wait. A few weeks later she emailed and said she was still sick so she still had not mailed it.
Finally I got a message at work from her that said she went to the doctor about her flu and it turns out she has leukemia. She was devastated of course. She had to go in for treatments right away.
That was three months ago.
I have tried calling her but have not been able to get in touch. I was really beginning to worry.
I just got a message from her.
It seems she has been in the hospital getting treatments for the last three months. She is in remission! She is heading back in for one more round of treatments and will call me when she gets out.
This whole experience makes me feel so many things that are too big for words. All I can do is hope and pray she gets stronger and stronger and eventually beats this.
I have to think somehow he is with her helping her through this. That's just the kind of guy he was.

Just the New York Times sitting on the windowsill...

The agro guy is out of the building. He got the last of his things last eve and turned in his keys.
This makes me so happy. Here is hoping he stays gone.

Moving on: Popozao? Ugh! Enough already.

Moving on some more: I really want a Godiva chocotini now. Thanks a lot Oscar pre-shows!

and more: Meg Ryan's new duck lips. Why would she do that to herself and then go on Oprah so the whole world can see what she did? So very sad.



more: Ben Folds this weekend! Woot!

and a little more: All Girl Bob Dylan cover band. That's all I am sayin'

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Suddenly Single.

I am overwhelmed by the numerous signs of the impending Spring season.
The same day I saw the guy come out and plant the plates on the baseball diamond across the street, another one of my lovely ladies became newly single.
It just occurred to me that all of the girls I spend the majority of my time with were partnered up during the winter months, but are all officially single as of today. (Today is the moving day for one straggler. By the time I get off work she will be officially on her own as well.)
This has to be a sign of some sort.
Brace yourselves people I have a feeling about this summer. This is going to be one for the books.

Monday, February 27, 2006

So let me get this straight, I kiss you and you turn into a prince?

Yes, that is me, sitting in a mud puddle contemplating a toad. (proving that I have been a little strange pretty much since birth)
I thought it was an appropriate photo given the state so many of my friends seem to be in right now. So many wonderful women contemplating toads. It is almost enough to depress a girl.... almost.

In other news gerbil babies are all still alive and happy and they just celebrated their two week birthday. They are about the cutest thing I have ever seen. For real.

Now a question: What are the top 3 movies that always make you cry without fail?
 

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