Friday, June 16, 2006

To know your weaknesses is to understand your enemy.

Wow, it just occurred to me that both my 2nd wedding anniversary and my birthday are creeping up on me in the next 5 weeks. Crazy!

This year really flew by. It certainly had it's ups and downs, but I don't regret a minute of it.

I really feel like I learned a lot this year. The year seemed to have a theme that revolved around human relationships. I'm not only talking about the type of relationship that happens between lovers. I am talking about the interpersonal relationships we all face in our day to day lives including those we have with our partners. They all feed on each other, help each other along or help tear each other down.

I have witnessed first hand how people can have a profound effect on one another without even realizing it. A stranger could change your life and never know they had an effect. An offhand comment from a friend could shake you to your core. A deception could change how you look at everything and everyone for the rest of your life. And the things good people will do out of pure loneliness will never cease to amaze me.

Also, being constantly surrounded by preteens and brand new teenagers, I have seen first hand a lot of "mean girl drama" as the peer groups get older and start jockeying for position in their social circles. Woman can be the most vicious of the species and don't you ever forget it! I still love them and I am proud to be one, but I sometimes think we could learn a thing or two about the art of "letting things go" from our male counterparts.

What I have found most amusing is that if you don't choose your friends wisely as an adult, you may never get out of those adolescent type of relationships. You will see it in your friendships, in your place of business and even with your spouse if you remain competitive at all. That is no way to live your life.

This year I have done a lot of observing and mental note taking. I am an observer at the core. I love life and I really do take full advantage of living every chance I get but in this life I have always been the Observer in Participants clothes. It is just who I am. I was born with an insatiable curiosity. I like to pick things apart to see just what makes them work, including people and personalities. I have no doubt it is one of my greatest strengths and one of my biggest character flaws.

I think much of what I have learned about people this year will still come into play many years from now.

I guess what I am trying to say is that it was a very productive year.

"Four be the things I am wiser to know:
Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe."
-Dorothy Parker

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

We used to dream big, Now we cry quietly

Since on the subject of yearbooks Cricri sent me this video for The Connels song '74-'75

Wow. Speechless!

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

I figure fair's fair!

Since they thought it was really funny to pick on my photos from the 90's I thought I would also share a photo of them in the 90's. Oh yes, I am one of THOSE moms....

This one's for you Kelsea & Darian:

I love the 90's...

My daughter and her friend were going through my old yearbook tonight. They were really getting a kick out of what I was up to when I was their age. If you have not read the things people wrote to you 15 years ago you really should. I forgot how silly we were! I am totally bringing the phrase "Scamming on guys" back!
So here they are in all their glory.
My senior photo is on this page (and the last time I recall having my natural hair color!):

and the senior page:

Yes that was my bedroom with the Cory's on the wall, a Gleaming the Cube, Depeche Mode, The Smiths, Madonna and various other posters plastering my wall and more. Oh and you didn't know that Edward Scissorhands was my boyfriend? A serious "Oh my Goth moment" fo sho. It also blows my mind that I had a baby not too long after these photos were taken! Yeep!

poor misguided youth :-)

Feel free to make fun of me, the kids were relentless this evening! It's OK I can take it!

I'm a little teacup...

A Poem I wrote in 2003:

I look at the delicate teacup
Small and fragile like I imagine
the little old ladies were
who drank from it so long ago

A thing so delicate and slight that it seems it could float away like a feather on a breeze.

Tiny rose buds sprinkled all along the silver lined edges.
The bone china handle molded into meticulous ruffles and swirls

I run my fingers over the waves
down the side
around the lip
Delighting in the silky edges
Cold and smooth to the touch

With the slightest flip of my wrist
it falls hard and fast
and crashes to the ground
leaving nothing there
but shards and powder and pieces
of something that was once
so faultless and beautiful

Sharp jagged edges
Looking to inflict it's pain on the trespasser
who committed such an atrocity to something so beautiful

It is showing it's teeth
proving that no matter how lovely and harmless something seems
With the right motivation
even the simple teacup
has teeth

I look at the pieces
all sprawled out in front of me
begging me to pick them up
and try to rebuild them
To touch them so they have a chance to draw blood

I imagine putting it back together like a crude jigsaw puzzle
Piece by piece

Rebuilding that fine handle and it's swirls and waves
that delicate silver lip

Even if I could rebuild it
it would have lines and scars and would never again be able to
serve the purpose it was born to serve

I would never again be able to bring it to my lips with steaming liquid
because the tea would always spill through the jagged scars
on the cup and burn my skin

The new rough edges would surely mutilate my mouth on contact
my blood dotting the china along side the delicate painted rose buds

No matter how harmless
or how much it was loved
now that it has been pushed over the edge
it can never again be
what it once was
before it fell
and was crushed by a simple cruelty

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