Friday, June 16, 2006

To know your weaknesses is to understand your enemy.

Wow, it just occurred to me that both my 2nd wedding anniversary and my birthday are creeping up on me in the next 5 weeks. Crazy!

This year really flew by. It certainly had it's ups and downs, but I don't regret a minute of it.

I really feel like I learned a lot this year. The year seemed to have a theme that revolved around human relationships. I'm not only talking about the type of relationship that happens between lovers. I am talking about the interpersonal relationships we all face in our day to day lives including those we have with our partners. They all feed on each other, help each other along or help tear each other down.

I have witnessed first hand how people can have a profound effect on one another without even realizing it. A stranger could change your life and never know they had an effect. An offhand comment from a friend could shake you to your core. A deception could change how you look at everything and everyone for the rest of your life. And the things good people will do out of pure loneliness will never cease to amaze me.

Also, being constantly surrounded by preteens and brand new teenagers, I have seen first hand a lot of "mean girl drama" as the peer groups get older and start jockeying for position in their social circles. Woman can be the most vicious of the species and don't you ever forget it! I still love them and I am proud to be one, but I sometimes think we could learn a thing or two about the art of "letting things go" from our male counterparts.

What I have found most amusing is that if you don't choose your friends wisely as an adult, you may never get out of those adolescent type of relationships. You will see it in your friendships, in your place of business and even with your spouse if you remain competitive at all. That is no way to live your life.

This year I have done a lot of observing and mental note taking. I am an observer at the core. I love life and I really do take full advantage of living every chance I get but in this life I have always been the Observer in Participants clothes. It is just who I am. I was born with an insatiable curiosity. I like to pick things apart to see just what makes them work, including people and personalities. I have no doubt it is one of my greatest strengths and one of my biggest character flaws.

I think much of what I have learned about people this year will still come into play many years from now.

I guess what I am trying to say is that it was a very productive year.



"Four be the things I am wiser to know:
Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe."
-Dorothy Parker

7 comments:

misery guts said...

"I have witnessed first hand how people can have a profound effect on one another without even realizing it. A stranger could change your life and never know they had an effect."

very true. though one of these days, you won't be a stranger to me anymore. ;)

i do just want to say thank you, though. getting to know you better this past year has been a strange sort of godsend to me. i cherish every conversation we've had and i'm proud and pleased to have you in my life, despite having never actually met.

we will, though. i'm trying to help organize maybe a week of gigs in seattle for ryan's band this fall. (speaking of which, you should send me your address and i'll mail you a copy of the cd - one with the artwork [that i did] and everything.)

xxo, p.

MJAPA said...

Wow! Thanks! That really means a lot to me to hear. You have been nothing but kind to me and I think you are a great person.
I look forward to meeting you in person one of these days!

loves
xom

Suzy Mills said...

Well said misery guts!

I am so happy to be getting to know you better lovely lady and hopefully we'll be visiting Seattle next year. The thing I'm most excited about is finally meeting you. Love you loads.

Being one of life's people watchers too I can totally understand everything you say.

I'd better get busy with the cards soon. :-)

MJAPA said...

I would love to have you and Mark visit Seattle Suzy! I'm looking at trying to go to London sometime after November when I get more vacation time and tix are cheaper! One way or another!

You are lovely!

xom

drake leLane said...

I, for one, am glad to have finally met you. Albeit w/o much room for conversation... maybe later.

On another note, I am heading for London very soon - after a wedding in Galway this coming week.

It is true about choosing friends, though. Having a child was one way to find out who your real friends are. I've been letting a few go since Eli's come into my life. Some people seem to think having a child is some sort of offense to their lifestyle - I never knew kids were called 'crotch fruit' in some circles until now.

Deb H said...

It's that Power of One. It frightens me when I'm told how I've said something & had a profound effect on another, whether positive or negative, & I know I've done both unknowingly, only to learn about the effect much later. It humbles me to no end, & makes me tend to weigh every word, for fear I could unitentionally do some harm. I had a woman in one of my classes, who met 2 years later, & knew she was familiar, but didn't know why. She told me I was her hero. I had helped her by something I said in class. It gave her confidence to join Wgt. Watchers. She'd lost 115 lbs, & started writing & publishing her own quilting patterns. It blew me away. To think I had that profound effect with so little a comment. & you know the worst thing I ever said unintentionally. It still makes me cry to know how it hurt you. I'm so sorry.

MJAPA said...

Drake-
I'm happy I got a chance to meet you in person as well. And I totally understand the whole kid friend filter. I have several friends who are new parents and one of their first complaints is how they are treated by some of their childless friends. One new mom recently told me "I had a baby, they won't catch it!"
It really does weed things out though, that's for sure. The irony is that you will be the first person they look up when they do finally have kids. Suddenlt you will be the guru. Trust me, I have had several blast from the past phone calls in the last few years. Peaople who fell off the map 11 years ago who are now looking for my advice because they have babies of their own and are going through the same thing. The nice part is, they will usually apologize, you might just have to wait 10 years to hear it!
&
Mom- You have nothing to feel bad about. I love you, and I would not be alive if it were not for you! And I agree, that power of one thing is pretty amazing stuff.

 

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