Part of the difficulty of being married to someone who has a public job is that it makes it harder to trust people who want to be your friend. To let someone get close to you is a lot more difficult because you have to wonder what motivates them. You have to second guess everything, and put every action under a microscope. It is exhausting for a small town girl like me who is naturally open and friendly. Every now and then someone slips by my personal motives detector and eventually it throws a full-on monkey wrench into my life.
What is worse, is that Jon has been doing this forever so he can spot it coming from a mile away. So the times things have come up since we have been married, it has always been me who has opened the door and welcomed these people into our lives. Not only do I get burned and hurt by said monkey wrench, but I also get to hear "I told you so!" which is every wife's favorite thing to hear! I am learning to be harder and more closed off and private, but I really hate that I have to change who I am fundamentally just to make this life work.
This story is what motivated me to write this:
I heard from a very dear friend who is married to someone who is in a very popular band. Not too long ago, when she was at a show following him to the stage with a video camera, (Because he had asked her to catch some of the show on tape) she was attacked by three teenage girls in the crowd. She didn't see it coming at all because she had the camera up to her face. She said that out of nowhere she was punched in the stomach, hard, she hit the ground and then the other two started jumping on her back. Luckily she was only bruised, but it could have been much worse. They are a young couple, they could have just as easily been trying to get pregnant at this time. Think of what could have happened.
Why did they do this to her? Have they ever even met her?
They did it because she is married to the rock singer that they have a crush on so they saw her as nothing more than an object standing in their way to what they wanted.
For me, this story illustrates perfectly how I feel. How a lot of the wives and girlfriends of people in the public eye feel. We look away for a second and we get sucker punched in the stomach and then get stomped into the ground. For what? Just because some little sycophant decides that our husband somehow belongs to them. The arrogance!! It truly astounds me.
Men who are married are not available, regardless of whether or not they are famous, they are not available.
When you are trying to climb into their beds you are not only sucker punching their wives, but you are sucker punching their babies and children, their families, their close friends, their careers. You are basically pissing all over everything that I consider precious and holy in this whole wide world.