Saturday, December 10, 2005

Richard Pryor is dead.

Wow. This news is no bueno.
He was my favorite as a kid. I loved his movies, his cameos in the Muppet movies, his stand up shows that I watched even though I wasn't supposed to. I am going to go to the video store and rent some Richard Pryor stuff right now and watch them tonight. Maybe I will get See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Car Wash and Brewster's Millions. Not all great movies, but they are a part of some fond memories for me. OMG The Toy! I have got to rent The Toy! I thought that was the funniest thing ever when I was a kid!

He will be missed. Heck, with his illness tearing him down and stopping him from performing these past few years, he already was.

Friday, December 09, 2005

Everyone should have sleepovers!

Last night was a good night. I REALLY wanted to go to The Deck The Hall Ball, but Jon had trouble getting it all sorted for me from Spain. By the time he was getting answers from people it was already tomorrow there so it just didn't link up. Instead Melissa and I had a slumber party.
There are certain Italian dishes that I can make with my eyes closed and they always turn out wonderful. Perfect comfort food type stuff. Last night I whipped up one of those dishes and Melissa, Darian and I carb loaded like you would not believe! So yummy.
By the time we were done all we wanted to do was nap. There was a new episode of ER on, and I had a big bottle of Framboise chilled. (Framboise=Best stuff on earth) Oh and we even made chocolate milkshakes!
The only downside was Melissa left the TV on when she fell asleep watching Nick at Nite so I woke up with some crazy infomercial about getting into shape literally screaming at me from the foot of the bed at 4AM. I turned it off and all was forgiven. We walked to work today and it was perfect and sunny and crisp. Things are looking up.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Memoirs of a Geisha

I can't wait for this movie. I LOVED the book, I read it in two days staying overnight at a hospital and then flying home from a funeral. It was my only escape from reality and it worked. So far the previews all look really beautiful. I hope they don't ruin it.

wine, women and song

Yesterday I probably got some of the worst news of my life, but I can't talk about it, so don't ask me. You will make me cry. For real. So instead I will talk about last night...

I really had a good time last night. A big Thank You to Matt and Licia for getting me in and then another extra big thank you to Licia for getting me so intoxicated that I forgot my tooth hurt. Sorry I ran out like I did, I could feel the last bit of vodka entering my system and knew if I didn't grab the chance to get out of there when I did I was going to start acting silly. As it is I am not entirely sure I was walking straight at that point. Also I could not resist actually seeing Sean drive with my own two eyes. It was almost as strange as the first time I saw Jason Finn driving a car. Just never thought I would see the day. I love his car, it looks like an egg with wheels. Super cute! I want one now.

My friends, you all made my very up and down day end on a loverly note. Thank you Mira from London for surprising me with a call at work. You are the best! Tony for being so sweet and showing me your cool gadget. Gavin for giving me lots of Gavin hugs which are the best ever! The Capps for playing a great show, all they need now is a sexy bass player and they will take over the world! (Matt's voice sounded AMAZING last night BTW, best mix I ever heard at Chop Suey. That is such a live room.) Licia for being her wonderful self, I wish I could adopt you and make you a sister. Amie for being so excited about being Merch Girl, you actually made it look fun! Sean for giving me a ride home and rescuing me from the crazy guy screaming outside my apartment (same guy who talks to his dead Aunt from a few days ago! No shit! I can't seem to escape that guy.) and all of the rest of my friends I got to spend time with last eve. You have no idea how much I needed that. I was in a bad way.

Hope I was not slurring too much. I'm not a very good drinker, I just pretend to be.

Wizard of Oz...

Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable...

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

If I didn't know any better

I would swear the news just went to commercial playing a super old school Peter Murphy song intro. Could it be???

The mystery is you...

I think it is funny that Jon has to sometimes remind me that life is not one of the stories I am writing and the people are not my characters. Therefore they won't always act the way that I would write them.
It is funny because I really do need to be reminded. I am always giving people too much or too little credit. I tend to fill in the blanks with what I think made them act or react certain ways and where their next step will take them. Sometimes it is uncanny how right I am with my guessing. I even had a silly ex-boyfriend accuse me of being some sort of psychic. I found this to be amusing, but not true at all. Truth be told I am just a good guesser and a lot of people are very predictable. Life is just one big chess game.
It is the people who I cannot figure out at all that keep me fascinated. I could lose days trying to unravel an atypical personality. A lot of people thought I would make a good therapist, but sometimes the emotional aspects of it all make me feel far too uncomfortable.
A lot of people mistake me for being a highly emotional person because I seem so open and fiery, but I am only comfortable with certain emotions. I am good with love, happiness, passion, conflict, and anger. I can deal with all of these things with ease and usually come away from any situation in a good way.
However, I am not good with real pain, loss, or grief. I have lost too many people and have too many of my own demons in those departments to be of any use to anyone else at this point in the game. I can't bring myself to tell another person in my life who is dying that "everything is going to be OK" because I can't say it with any conviction. They would know I was lying. There used to be a time I believed that, but that time has past. So now, when I am faced with loosing someone who I care about and who is reaching out to me, I am at a loss for words.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Why do I try?

I was running a few minutes behind schedule this morning. When I got to the bus stop and there were not any people there I was afraid I had missed the bus. I looked at my watch and it was exactly the time the bus should be there. I looked up the street and didn't see the back of the bus, so I thought I would ask someone if I had just missed it. The only person around was this homeless guy who was mumbling to himself. I figure he would probably be coherent enough to give a yes or no answer and he was my only option. I decided to take a chance and ask him.

This is how the conversation went:

ME- Excuse me sir, could you tell me if the bus just went by?

HG- I am TRYING to have a conversation with my Aunt Ava here! Can't you see that?!

ME- Um OK, clearly you think you are talking to someone. All I want to know is if you saw a bus go by here in the last minute or two. So, did you?


ME- OK, well then, can you ask her if she saw the bus go by?

Apparently she didn't.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Dream a Little Dream

We were walking through the middle of city streets. It looked like any ugly midwestern city.
All of the cars and people around us were moving on slightly fast forward.
The only color was the pink of our cheeks and lips from the cold as if someone had gone in and airbrushed it on black and white photos.
Although there was traffic, and people bustling about, there was no sound, only the sound of your breath and mine.
We stepped out into the middle of a city intersection. You grabbed my hand and suddenly everyone else disappeared.
“I want to show you something.” You said, “Follow me. Don’t worry, you can trust me.”

I had butterflies in my stomach. I was as nervous as I was curious about where you were going to take me.

We walked through the city streets, past overturned garbage cans, broken bottles, old rusted-out cars. The city was ugly and dirty; the only picturesque thing about it was the new layer of snow that covered everything. Our footprints were the only thing that disturbed the layer of snow.

We approached a heavy gate. You turned to me and said, “Close your eyes.”

I heard you jangle the lock and then the creak of the large gate opening. You and I stepped through, the door slammed hard behind us.

“You can open your eyes now.” You whispered close to my ear.

We were now standing in the center of a large vineyard with no trace of the city or the door. It was still black and white and covered in a thin layer of snow, all except for the grapes. They were huge, ripe and the same shade of blush as our lips. They were covered in a light sparkling frost that made them look sugared.

The grapes hung heavy on the drooping vines. You reached up and picked a large blushing grape. You were wearing gloves with no fingertips. I could see the frost melting instantly at the heat of your touch causing a little burst of steam.

You reached over and held the grape in front of my lips, I opened my mouth and you placed it on my tongue. I bit down on the grape. The flavor of sweet, nearly frozen, champagne burst in my mouth. It was startling but delicious.
You pressed your warm fingers against my lips. I could smell your skin feel your heat. I swallowed the grape and you moved your hand away.

“What just happened?” I asked nearly breathless
“That, my friend, was a kiss.” You smirked in reply

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