Saturday, July 15, 2006

Jack the Lion

Jack J Price, Sr - April 28, 1932 – July 15, 2003
In loving memory...

Forever Young

I'm missing my girl today.
May God bless and keep you always,
May your wishes all come true,
May you always do for others
And let others do for you.
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung,
May you stay forever young,

May you grow up to be righteous,
May you grow up to be true,
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you.
May you always be courageous,
Stand upright and be strong,
May you stay forever young,

May your hands always be busy,
May your feet always be swift,
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift.
May your heart always be joyful,
May your song always be sung,
May you stay forever young...


When I was a kid I used to have a reoccurring dream about my little brother. He and I were very close then. We did almost everything together. He was my only friend for years.

In the dream we would be out playing in the yard. He would jump on his bike and start riding off. I would yell to him that he should not go too far. I would chase after him. He would round the corner out of my sight. I would run around the corner and when I would get there, there would be the bike, still standing with no one riding it anymore. He was gone, just vanished. I would start to yell for him and run around looking for him, but I could never find him. I would wake up with this horrible feeling of panic and go to his room to make sure he was OK.

About nine years ago I had to throw him out of my apartment. I didn’t have a choice. We grew up, became two very different people, and we made two very extremely different lifestyle choices. I knew it came down to a choice between what he wanted to do and the safety of my daughter. We have not spoken since. I saw him once by accident at a club. We both tried to pretend we didn’t see one another and slipped out the door before we talked.

Last night I had that dream again, the first time in as long as I can remember and I keep thinking about him today.

I hope he is OK wherever he is and knows that even though I can’t stand his lifestyle choices I still love him.

Didn't you know.
It get's easier the more that I let go.
It get's easier the more that I don't know.
The only question now is where is love to go?

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

The Various Stages of Myspace

When I first joined Myspace it was after a long conversation via email with a friend of mine who was trying to tell me that Friendster was no longer "Where it's at".
It took me a long time to be convinced to join Friendster in the first place because I was of the mind that the last thing I needed was another internet distraction at work.
When my friend mentioned that Myspace had music profiles and I could add songs to my own profile I was sold. My Friendster account was deleted and my Myspace account was born.

Stage 1: Finding old friends, lovers, crushes, friends of lovers crushes...
It is sort of like the old saying "The first thing people look up on the internet the very first time they log on is porn". Well, the first thing you inevitably look up the first time you get on Myspace is anyone you have ever seen naked or ever wanted to see naked. (Don't lie, you have all done it. You know it. I know it. So let's just admit it to ourselves, shall we?)

Stage 2*: Looking up people right after you meet them.
These days if someone tells me their first and last name when I meet them out at a club/bar I will inevitably look them up that night when I get home. Or whenever anyone under 35 is mentioned on the evening news I will look to see if they have a profile. I would say eight out of ten times they do! Why not? Myspace is supposedly for networking right?
I figure if people put it out there, they must want it to be seen.
Recently I have seen a high instance of friends of mine who meet new guys and then go home and look them up only to find their profiles tagged with "In a relationship" or worse "married". What is up with that guys? My husband says I should not be surprised, but I always am.

Stage 3: Using it for dating purposes or hooking up.
I can't say much about this mostly because I have been married since Myspace came into my life, but I do know of several single people who have met via Myspace and gone out on dates. It seems like it would be a good tool for that. Even though on my profile I am clearly tagged as Married I get all of the classic crazy emails on a regular basis from Who's Who in Mental Health from around the world.
"I am pig farmer from Mars and I think you look pretty eyes and have many of my baby if we marry soon yes? I have much money and buy you many nice thing."
It is entertaining, tacky and a little bit scary all rolled up into one!

Stage 4: The fascination with Myspace has worn off.
You don't care about any of the things you cared about in stage one. You realize that only total Gomers would actually put anything real or deeply personal on their unfiltered profile. So really, what you have is a community that is equal to glorified electronic yellow pages. A lot of people have switched to using their Myspace profiles for their email because of the handy device that tells you if and when your sent message has been read. This is good for people in stage 3 trying to hook up so they can torture themselves with the thought; "He read my email three days ago, why hasn't he replied to me yet?"

Stage 5: You dabble in the other stages but for the most part you just use it to find new music and get a free download every now and then.
You have a certain rotation of profiles you click on regularly because you know they change their songs/content/blogs regularly and that helps entertain you when you are bored at work. You rarely get on Myspace on the weekends or after 5PM on the weekdays unless you get an email that says someone left you a new comment or a new message. These days you use the Music Search way more than the Friend Finder and you have at least a CD's worth of free music and a collection of ridiculous emails from the Myspace whores. You threaten to delete your profile at least three times a week and you curse yourself for even bothering to log on anymore because you realize what a colossal waste of time it is.

*There is a stage I skipped because not everyone does it but I call it the "I just discovered the bulletin feature" stage of Myspace. This is a stage that is split down the middle. You either do or don't. Those who do seem to do it a LOT and those who don't, you may never see their name roll up on the bulletin scroll. So I would call this Stage 2.1

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

In My Life I Love You More.

Two Years ago today...

In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities.


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