Saturday, December 24, 2005


I am up way too early again. Slept from about 2-5AM and that was it.
I'm really happy we didn't go anywhere this year. I would hate being awake and feeling unable to pace.
Watching the Today show and waiting for the stores to open again.

We picked up my daughter's brand new PSP yesterday. She is going to freak out when she sees it. I can hardly wait!

Friday, December 23, 2005

Tripod the 3 legged mouse

Tripod the 3 legged mouse
Tripod the 3 legged mouse,
originally uploaded by lilblackcat.
Isn't she so cute?!

Arby's dessert

Arby's dessert
Arby's dessert,
originally uploaded by lilblackcat.
Don't know why I liked this, I just thought it was creepy looking and had to take a photo of it.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

The Best Christmas gift EVER!

My oldest and dearest friend is having a baby and she just told me that she wants to incorporate my name into her new babie's name. I am so honored I could cry.

Why does this work?

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

I WILL sleep tonight.

Day three of total insomnia.

Tonight I am turning to my old friend Nyquil to put me down. We'll see how it goes.

This is not a good time for me to be getting
A:Insomnia and
B:sick because of it and that tickle in my throat is starting to turn into a full fledged *ouch*

I would ask Jon what he thought about all of this, but he has been sleeping like a baby for two hours now. Could not even stay awake through the movie we were watching.

Show off.

3AM and sleep still hasn't found me...

Tonight we went to see Jacob James (The Lashes) play at the Bus Stop. I heard his solo work for the first time on a co-workers I-tunes. I really liked it and wanted to see how he pulled it off live. I was not disappointed at all! He is a really talented fella that one.
When we first arrived, I ran into quite a few people I have not seen in a very long time. We played a little catch up, and went inside.
Jeannine and I were having a great time people watching and listening to the music. (Can you say Cello? Dreamy!) There was another guy who played, and I have no idea who he is, but he had a really pretty voice. Very smokey and soulful. I will have to investigate this some more.

I came home and caught the last hour of the Nip/Tuck season finale. There were parts that were really cool/intense. I was at the edge of my seat, completely freaked out for parts of it. But then the unveiling at the end was enough to turn me off from the show forever. It was too obvious and silly. I could have written a better twist. Oh well, it is the small screen after all.

Is it possible to have sympathy jet lag?

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

I like Death cab.

OK- I admit it. You all said I would someday and I said, "No, I won't" and I avoided listening to them for ages. (Yes I really am that stubborn. At least you don't have to live with me!)
But then I saw Ben play solo and really liked his voice and his lyrics. I borrowed a CD from my husband on the sly and listened to it. Now I am in love with this record/band that I was trying so hard not to like.

So, dear friends who told me so, you may commence with the "I told you so's" now. I can take it!

But for the record, I still don't like Bjork and you can't make me!

Dreams for the insomniac

The best part about not being able to sleep are the reruns. I am watching really old school Twilight Zone right now. I've decided I NEED this.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Holy Moly!

Jon is going to be home in 3 hours!

I am at work and won't see him for another 7, but still, he will actually be in Seattle in 3 hours!

That is wicked cool!

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Is that all there is? If that's all there is my friends then let's keep dancing...

I always thought there was something very romantic about the idea of packing a bag of essentials and taking off in the middle of the night to start all over in a new place where no one knows you.
I have done it, several times. That is how I ended up in Seattle.
It was about 2AM, I had money and a lot of boxed wine in me. We called the airport and asked what the biggest city we could get to was, and when was the soonest flight. It was $50 to Seattle at 6AM. I was on that plane.
I was also 17 and my parents were less than happy to get a collect call from Washington State the next day from their daughter who was staying in some seedy cheap hotel on Second Avenue.
I really was a good kid in the whole I didn’t break any laws sense. I was just extremely restless. My head was never in it. I was all grown up by 10, it just took a while for my body to catch up with my mind.
I hated living in the woods away from everything. I hated the fact that the only things I had to entertain myself were my thoughts and old movies. I hated when you turned off the lights at night you could not hear anything at all. You have never really heard your thoughts until you have stayed a few nights in the middle of nowhere Alaska, trust me. There is a reason the teen suicide rate is so high up there.
When I would come home after school every day, my brothers were usually at various friends houses, my parents were at work and I was completely alone.
We had a huge house that sat alone on a decent piece of property with super high vaulted ceilings. All of the open space made it feel cold, and created some really spooky shadows and noises.
In the winter it was dark all of the time, and I always had the nagging thought in the back of my head that someone could totally come in and kill me, take their time with it, and there would not be a person around to hear me screaming. It was a total head trip.
The first thing I would always do when I walked in the house was turn on the TV on mute “for company” and then I would turn on the stereo as loud as I could.
I would play all of my dad’s records. I loved the familiar warm crack and pop of each and every one. I fell in love with two men during that time, one named Simon, the other named Garfunkel. They seemed to understand what was happening in my head better than anyone in real life, and they were my closest friends.
At some point there was the realization that if I was going to join the rest of the world, I was just going to have to do it. I needed to take action before I lost my mind, and drown in my own darkness. So, one afternoon in the dead of winter, a few months before I was set to graduate I took action. I walked into the school and pulled all of the books out of my locker that belonged to the school and set them aside, emptied everything else into a waste basket and walked into the office. I set the books on the counter and said, “I quit.”
The look on the poor receptionist face was a mixture of both shock and sadness. She must have called security after I turned and walked out because a few minutes later a woman was chasing me down the hall telling me to go back to class.
I said, “No, you don’t understand, I quit. You can’t tell me what to do anymore. I am leaving.”
She threatened me with truancy slips and detentions and was still threatening me as I was getting into my car and driving off. I watched her standing in the parking lot getting smaller and smaller in the rearview mirror as I pulled away from that place for the very last time.
Weeks later I was in Seattle.
I didn’t stay in Seattle very long, only a few months. I couch surfed with friends and stayed in practice spaces of bands that I befriended while they practiced. I kept my belongings in the greyhound station rental lockers and would go back to change every now and then. Eventually I caught a bus and started across the US on a trip that lasted me about 7 months.
I ended up in Michigan at my beloved grandmother’s bedside while she slowly passed away. I spent my days working at McDonald’s and my nights visiting my Grandmother. Once she was gone, I knew it was time to go home.
I found a ticket for sale that flew from Muskegon to Anchorage one way for the exact amount that my last McDonalds paycheck was. I thought it was a sign. I flew home under another woman’s name (This is back when they didn’t check ID’s with tickets)
I was home long enough to realize you can never go back. I felt like I was all the wrong size now. I didn’t understand the people anymore; everything seemed so simple and laughable after what I had seen over the last year. I just couldn’t connect and it was not long before I was back on a plane and back in Seattle this time with a partner in crime.
I didn’t run away again until I was 9 months pregnant. I packed a bag on my due date and left him.
I remember sitting on the front porch of our apartment. He was asking all the wrong questions and I was slowly erasing him from my memories while waiting for my cab. I was going to do what was best for my child, and what was best was not sitting there on that stoop with me.
I lied at the airport and told them I was only 5 months pregnant, I was just a “Very fat girl” no one wanted to argue with that, and they let me on the plane. I prayed I would not go into labor on my 3 hour flight back to Anchorage.
I gave birth two weeks later. I was living back in my father’s house that I had spent the previous years running away from. This time it was my sanctuary and he was my savior.
By the time I gave birth, I could hardly remember anything about the man I was with that I left on that stoop. Her birth certificate has a blank line where it says father’s name. She and I belonged to each other and no one else.
I waited for two years before trying to take on the world again. I wanted to wait until we were both strong enough to make a go of it. I had as much growing up to do as my baby girl did. Shortly after her second birthday, I rented an apartment in Seattle that I had not seen, and bought a car through a friend that I had not seen and had it parked at my apartment. I tested out of school, and was accepted into a Seattle college.
We left again, but this time it stuck. Now it has been 8+ years, the longest I have ever stayed in one place.
Here I am. All settled and in a nice little routine.
And the music is once again the only thing drowning out the overwhelming silence.


Now how am I supposed to learn all of my favorite songs? This is taking it a tad too far I think. BBC Link

The next time you see my husband

Ask him what he thinks of the term Powerpop.

Oh and go to this tele interview and FFWD to 12:23 into it and see why:

And I love you and I love you and I love you and I love you....

I just walked into my apartment and my cats are climbing all over me. It is actually a little overwhelming. I spent the whole day here, and you would think by how they are acting I have been gone for a month. Freaky little critters all effected by the moon.
Well Nenu and I spent our last night together before the boy gets home for a few weeks. I must say it is a little heartbreaking that things will change. Not trying to downplay my husbands return to the home front, but he has been away for so long I have sort of adopted new patterns and habits to adapt. I have so enjoyed my girl time; in fact I think I am enjoying it more now than when I was single. Not that I was EVER truly single for very long. There was always something on the horizon.
Last night we went to my office Holiday party. There are photos on the website. I didn’t realize just how boobilicious my shirt was until I saw the photos today. (They are up on we are on page 1 and page 5) Extra glad that I mixed that shirt with the free Tequila they were pouring all night. I did talk a little shit last night for sure, but luckily it was all to people who would never tell.
Thank goodness I didn’t embarrass myself in front of any of my girly crushes. *ahem*
OK, well at least I didn’t say anything that I would regret later *cough*
OK, at least I made it home in one piece…

Tonight we went to see The Divorce and Harvey Danger. I was really having trouble getting my hair to cooperate today. I sort of felt like the Robin Williams character from the movie Jumanji when he came out of the jungle, but red. I really have WAY too much hair.
Anyhow, we were running late, so we missed The Divorce. We also knew it was sold out, but we figured we would just act like we were supposed to be there and we would get in. That seemed to work.
I hit the window and Nenu hit the door guy. We were in and ticketed (for free) in under 4 minutes. Now that is some good juju.
We got situated and grabbed our drinks, headed into the band room and Harvey Danger were just getting started. They played a fantastic show to a completely packed to the rafters house. Two of the Lashes even came up and sang on a Christmas song. They sounded great, I LOVE that room when it is full! I have seen some of my all time favorite Seattle shows in that particular room, I think The Croc would come in a close second.
We munched on some delicious Frites and said hello to Ari before we called it a night. I just wasn’t all that interested in the following bands and I think I am a little drained still from the Tequila and Miller High Life fest that was my office party the night before.

One thing I didn’t write about yet that I have been meaning to is The Nutcracker. Darian and I joined Licia on Wednesday to go check out the PNWB version down at the Opera house. It was SO beautiful.
It really is difficult for me to describe that sort of show properly. There are not words. To hear that style of music played live so flawlessly, it really is breathtaking. It is practically a religious experience.
If you know how to read sheet music or have ever been in an orchestra you know just how much goes into it all. How each player alone might be pretty but a little dull, but when you layer them all together you get this thing that is almost alive. You become a part of a living breathing thing that you as an individual get completly lost in. Now add ballet dancers and a few angelic voices for the opera parts.
There is nothing like it.
If I were a wealthy woman I would have season tickets and go every weekend. I love my rock shows, I really do, but my heart belongs to the Symphony.
It was my dream growing up. I worked so hard learning and perfecting my instruments. I loved it so much. I was crushed when I left my small town and came to the big city and got a good hard dose of reality. Most of those people who do it for a living play every intrument, I could only play about three and only two of them well enough to be symphony worthy.
Oh well, it still holds a major place in my heart. Maybe some day I will play clarinet in my twilight years all Woody style. One can dream.
Darian really seemed to get the same buzz off of seeing it as I did. That made me really happy.

Well peeps, that’s the news. Now does anyone want to come over and do my dishes, because I am so not having it.

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