Thursday, March 02, 2006

The Best Kind of News...

Almost two years ago I lost my friend and co-worker to Cancer. He was a good man. I cared quite a bit about him. We traveled together for work a couple of times a year and I got to know him well. I considered him a very close friend.
One of the things he talked about a lot was how much he loved his wife. He was crazy about her. I never met her in person, but I felt like I knew her after working with him for a few years and hearing so much about her.
His death was a complete shock.
He didn't want anyone to know he had been diagnosed with Cancer because he thought he would beat it. He was very proud, it made sense that he didn't tell us. I had not heard from him in a few weeks so I sent him an email and told him I was beginning to worry about him.
I came in on a Tuesday after a long weekend and had an email sitting in my inbox that said he had died over the weekend. I walked out of my office and sat down on the dock near the water (Our office was on a lake) and I cried.
I left that job not long after.
About a year after his death his widow got in touch with me. It seems he wanted to leave me a very special bottle of wine. It is one we had talked about. It is rare and priceless. He had intended to give it to me as a wedding gift.
She and I started talking one night and we ended up on the phone for hours. We told each other stories about her husband. It was really nice getting to know her finally.
We ended the conversation with her telling me, "I bet we would have been really good friends if we lived in the same city."
I said, "I think you are right."
She called me and told me she had the flu and could not mail the bottle. I told her not to worry and to send it whenever, I could wait. A few weeks later she emailed and said she was still sick so she still had not mailed it.
Finally I got a message at work from her that said she went to the doctor about her flu and it turns out she has leukemia. She was devastated of course. She had to go in for treatments right away.
That was three months ago.
I have tried calling her but have not been able to get in touch. I was really beginning to worry.
I just got a message from her.
It seems she has been in the hospital getting treatments for the last three months. She is in remission! She is heading back in for one more round of treatments and will call me when she gets out.
This whole experience makes me feel so many things that are too big for words. All I can do is hope and pray she gets stronger and stronger and eventually beats this.
I have to think somehow he is with her helping her through this. That's just the kind of guy he was.


AndyP (Seattle, WA) said...

I just lost my dad to cancer and he, as well, hid the severity from everyone. When he died I was a bit shocked and a bit angry. My wife's dad died 10 years ago suddenly and with my dad going, my son never got to meet him. So, he will never meet his biological grandfathers. Had I known the severity, we would have all gone to NY last October instead of just me. I still wish everyday that I could have a photo of my son and my dad together, but now it can never happen.
On a lighter note...will The Posies show at The Premier be all ages? My nephew will be up from California and I would LOVE to have the Posies as his first concert. He is 11.

Deb Hardman said...

I Hope she does ok. You should make her a soft lap quilt to snuggle with, like the one Darian made for you.


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