Sunday, February 25, 2007

This is just like television, only you can see much further.

I grew a perfect sunflower in the garden in front of my apartment. It was so perfect it almost didn't look real.
I had spent so much of my time and money on my little 3x8 patch of dirt, planting flowers and bulbs and seeds. Adding a birdbath and a feeder. Weeding it and watering it every day.
It became something that people would stop to admire. Little old ladies would catch me out there in my gardening gloves pruning and planting and weeding and they would chat with me about the colors I chose and how Jon brought some of the bulbs all the way from Holland. It attracted pretty birds and tons of butterflies. It was my very own little oasis in the middle of the city.

Right in the middle of the garden grew one perfect sunflower. Bright and happy surrounded by reds and purples. I didn't even plan it that way, it grew from a random birdseed, which made it even more special. Like a magical little thank you from the garden for taking such good care of it.

One morning I woke up and went to water my garden. I found that someone not only broke my birdbath but they also picked the sunflower. There was nothing left but a little stumpy stem sticking out of the ground.

After that I let the garden die. I just completely neglected it. I let the weeds take over, and let the summer heat dry up the flowers and I let everything die.

Now there is nothing left but a lot of dirt.

I keep wondering if I should bother trying to plant anything this year. I keep trying to find the desire to start over again. Just because I was angry about what someone who didn't even know me, did to me, I let the whole thing go to waste. I let all of it die. All because some random passerby decided to steal my sunflower which never really belonged to me to begin with.

How do you start over again?
Is it possible?
Will it ever be the same again or is it possible it might be even better this time?


Mira Manga said...

Is his an analogy for your "lady garden" ;)

Michelle Auer said...

Not so much. It really happened. But now that you put it that way.....


me, myself and I said...

Oh Mira, you're such a non-gardener. Hee hee..

I have completely lost interest in my garden in the past year. I'm actually considering getting someone in to sort it out. It's just totally out of control. It all started to go downhill when the Japanese maple that Mark bought me for our 10th wedding anniversary died. That hit me harder than I realised. I was pretty attached to that little tree.

When Jon was here and asked to see the garden, Mark took him out to see it and I didn't even go out with them.

Michelle Auer said...

I'm sorry about your Japanese maple. They can be very sensitive.

Anonymous said...

You have to look at the color/light and joy you created. You loved and you nurtured. Some people destroy the light and beauty we create. Don't let them. They live in and see only darkness. This is not your path. Create anew. bring back light and joy.


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