Pretty red iPod update & a few shorts...

I have not purchased anything new in a while because I have been having so much fun with all of the great music blogs out there. Right now THIS BLOG is my favorite. So far I've liked 90% of everything I've seen on there which is a pretty high percent.

Hope everyone is enjoying the Fall! We've been super busy. I've been kind of wishing there were more hours in the day just to get everything accomplished!

I took a mini vacation last week which was especially nice and relaxing. I needed/deserved it. I've been such a busy bee.

Darian had an amazing birthday, as always. She got everything on her wish list and then some. She said the sweetest thing. She told me, "Mom, my life is so good and I have so much, I feel like I would be selfish to ask for anything more."
She is the best!

Speaking of the best, isn't my niece the cutest dressed as a Tootsie Roll? Too adorable!

Thirteen

Happy 13th birthday to the great love of my life!





I'm so lucky to be your mommy.

Do your part. Get tested. Get educated. Use condoms.

Seattle just had it's yearly AIDS awareness walk on September 29th. Whenever it comes around, it reminds me of the people I've known and lost to the disease.

The first time AIDS touched my life was when I was 19 years old. My friend, J., found out he was HIV positive right around the same time I found out I was pregnant. He was a fun guy to be around. He was always bouncy, super funny, full of adventure, and gorgeous.
Since he was the first person I had ever known with HIV, I asked him a lot of questions. He brought me tons of literature on the disease and how you can and can not contract it. He also shared with me the story of how he got it.
He told me that he came out to his parents when he was 13 years old. His parents were very conservative and would not accept a gay son. They threw him out. He ended up living on the streets of San Francisco in the late 80's/early 90's. He was not old enough to get work anywhere, so he started hustling for money to make ends meet. He did this for a few years until he met a man who let him live with him for awhile. Eventually he was old enough to make it on his own with a legitimate job. He moved to Seattle and tried to put that life behind him.
He found out he was HIV positive in his early 20's. He knew when he went in to get tested there was a pretty good chance he would be positive given what he had been through up to that point. The news hit him hard. A mutual friend of ours told me that he just looked in the mirror for hours saying, "You have AIDS" over and over again.

It was so strange hanging out with him, knowing that he had a disease that was going to eventually kill him, mostly because he didn't look or seem sick at all. I stayed hopeful that they would find a cure before the disease took over.
As my pregnancy progressed and my stomach grew, his symptoms got worse and worse. He started getting spots on his scalp, his gums were a mess, and he ended up getting Hepatitis. He was getting very sick very fast.

I asked him if there was anything I could do. He said the best thing that anyone could do was get tested, even if you are not in a high risk group. He said if everyone who ever had sex got tested, we could significantly reduce the spread of the disease. He also asked that I tell as many people as I could about how you can and can not contract the disease. At the time, people in Seattle were well educated, but my relatives in middle America and Alaska were still pretty in the dark about the whole thing.
So, I started making a point of bringing up what I knew about HIV whenever I had the opportunity. I got a really unexpected reaction from some people. There were people who told me that I was putting my unborn child at risk by hanging out with a person with AIDS.
This is so untrue.
No matter how I tried to explain to them that this is not possible, the more they told me that I was being a bad mother by allowing this person to be a part of my life. Some went as far as to try to tell me that they would not be surprised if my child was born with AIDS because of my friendship with a person who had the disease. I'd never been faced with such a fearful and ignorant reaction before. I hardly knew how to respond to it.

Eventually, when my friend got to a point where he was very very sick, the disease was spiraling fast and taking it's toll, he talked to his mother and she finally told him it was OK for him to come home. He knew that he was probably going to die soon, so he had a small party and told us all goodbye. He said that he wanted us all to remember him as being young and healthy. He thought it would somehow be easier if he knew that we would always remember him how he was, to go through what was coming up.
After that day, I never saw or heard from him again.

Over the last 13 years, I've kept my promise. I've advocated testing for everyone, no matter what. I've tried to educate people about what I know and I'm really impressed with how much people do know now compared to what they knew back then.
There is still a lot of ignorance out there about the disease. There are still people who think it is just a "Gay disease". There are still people who think you can get it just from being around people with it, but one of the most astounding things I've seen are the people who refuse to be tested. I've actually met people who are sexually active and I ask them if they have ever been tested, and they tell me no. I ask them why not. The most common answer?
"Well, my last partner was tested and they were negative, so that means I am negative."

PEOPLE! Come on!!
If you are sexually active, it is your DUTY to be tested.
If you change partners often, it is your duty to be tested at least once a year if not every six months, whether you are straight or gay, male or female. Period.

There is not a cure for AIDS, so the only thing that we can do to prevent the spread of AIDS is to arm ourselves with knowledge. If every person who is sexually active was tested regularly we could greatly reduce the spread of the disease.

Do your part. Get tested. Get educated. Use condoms.


For some, having HIV/AIDS is like being alone in the dark.

For some, not having an UNDERSTANDING of HIV/AIDS
and its prevention KEEPS them in the dark.

We all have the opportunity to move into the light of
AWARENESS

Two things...

First, HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRANDON!! And HAPPY BIRTHDAY WARREN!!!
Today is my big brother's & my Step-father's birthday.
So happy day to the both of you!

second:
I made a little animated video this weekend for another one of Jon's songs. Here it is:


Enjoy!

xoxo

You were only waiting for this moment to be free.

Last night Jon played the song Blackbird for me after hearing how touched I was when he played it at the radio8ball show. I managed to get a bit on video before some woman walked in the way of the camera. It is just beautiful. I almost teared up again:



And then I found these gems on my camera.

Tha Flaming Lips:


The Ditty Bops:


and more Sean Nelson from last night's show:

And so I'm writing with the hope that someone's reading...

For Jon's birthday we got Jon (and the whole family, really) This awesome little instrument. It is something we have been wanting for a while and decided to just do it. Next week Darian will start taking piano lessons. The cool thing about this is that she can practice using headphones so as to not disturb the neighborhood. It has a beautiful sound and weighted keys. We all love it.

Then at last eve's show our friend, Sean Nelson, played a Posies song in honor of Jon's birthday. It was very sweet. Jon even jumped up on stage in the end. What a sweet gesture. I'm so happy I got it on video!

And then we met with Jon's family for a birthday brunch this morning. They surprised me with a gift card for my birthday that just passed. After brunch we went over to the book store and I picked up two autographed copies of books that I have been wanting for some time now:

and

I'm really excited to read them. Alan Alda is in my top 5 list of people I would love to meet someday.

Now, I'm off to sticking my nose in a book. I hope you all had a wonderful and fulfilling weekend!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JON!

Loves.

Advertising that is doing a good thing.

While I was watching TV this weekend an ad caught my eye. It was an ad for an anti-cyberbullying campaign. This is something that I never had to deal with as a teen because we were not online when I was in High School. My very first time on the internet was after I was already a mother.
I have a child who is growing up right in the middle of this generation where people can hide behind the internet and texting. It gives a very loud voice to passive aggression making bullying in schools easier and more accessible. Information & gossip travels faster than ever before. It is also harder for teachers or parents to catch it.

I think these ads are smart and well done.
Here are two of the campaigns they have going right now:

Soupa!

What did we do with the fresh veggies that we picked today?
I made Apple Beet Soup! It is SOOOO good! I am enjoying it as I write this blog. It has a very sweet, earthy flavor and it was super easy to make!

6 beets peeled & cut
1 onion
1 garlic clove
4 cups of unsweetened apple juice
juice of two small lemons (Add at the end just before blending)
S&P to taste

Top with sour cream

Put everything in a pot and simmer for about 25 minutes.

When veggies are soft, blend with a hand blender till smooth. (This is how it looks just before you blend it)

After it is blended pour into bowl and add sour cream.

Enjoy!

It would be perfect to serve at a Halloween dinner due to it's pretty red color!

It was THAT easy, and the whole family loves it!

Flaming Lips- Awesome -Fall City Farm

We have been moving full speed ahead since Thursday evening. We've had Jon in town on the weekend without any studio time booked for the first time in ages, so we took full advantage of it.
Starting with Thursday, the whole family went to Darian's open house, met all of her teachers and then we ran downtown for The Flaming Lips show!! It was pretty incredible. I made a little video, but have not had a chance to upload it yet. Jon knows them from being on a lot of the same festival circuits and what not over the years, so we got free passes and after show passes. Darian really enjoyed the experience and I think they have a new fan now!


Friday eve we went and met a group of old friends for dinner. It was nice being around the old Alaskan crew. One if them I had not seen since Darian was a little baby. We laughed a lot.

Then Saturday eve we went to The Seattle Children's Theatre to see a show put on by a band called "Awesome" with special guest narrator, Sean Nelson. Jon has been working with them and they have a record release next week (On Jon's birthday!) at Chop Suey. The show was kind of a musical/comedy that they put together. It was intelligent and hilarious. We all really enjoyed it a lot, especially the kiddo. I would tell you to check it out, but it was the closing night. I hope they do it again, because it was really cool!

Today (Sunday) we went out to Fall City Farms to pick our own veggies. It was really fun getting out of the city and getting a chance to really get our hands in the earth. We picked Carrots, broccoli, beets, potatoes, and even a little Kale for our Hamsters and gerbils! We also bought some fresh cider and tomatoes and corn. We ended up with four bags of the freshest veggies and our grand total was under $30!! It is only 20 minutes out of town as well. We will be going back for pumpkins! (They start letting you pick pumpkins next Saturday!) They also had several cute and cuddly animals that we got to feed and pet. I took a ton of photos, so I think I will let them tell the story:



















Back to the city we go....

SOOOOO CUTE!!!

cat nap

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Big Star on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno!

Someone was kind enough to post a video of when my hubby played on The Tonight Show with Big Star. He is all the way on the left of the stage. How fun!

I Saw U: Conversation of the week

More great I saw U's this week!

Where did you go?

I used to see the semblance of you, your curve, your smile, your eyes... constantly. Now, it's fleeting. I'll see a a smile. Sometimes a glance that belongs to you, but given from someone else. It's never the whole person. Where are you? My search continues, and I grow weary.

When: Saturday, September 15, 2007

Where: always

I saw a: Woman

I am a: Man

-----------------

Re: Where did you go?

I've seen you around. Your smirk, your glasses, your careless shrug. I even saw your jeans on someone else's ass today (they didn't look as good on him). I feel like I'm collecting pieces of you.
Maybe once I get all of them, you'll come back?

When: Sunday, September 16, 2007

Where: Everywhere

I saw a: Man

I am a: Woman

New moons & positive energy...

The first couple of weeks of school has passed. So far Darian has 100% in all of her classes. She has her first guitar test today. I had her run her scales this morning before she left. Fingers crossed! I'm sure she will do well, send positive vibes!
Speaking of positive vibes...
Last eve was the Radio8Ball show. It was the best one I've seen yet. Ah, our friend, synchronicity... (To borrow a phrase from the host, Andras) It really seemed like all of the stars had aligned or something because all of the answers made complete sense. Sometimes it seems a bit of a stretch, but last eve there were a few moments that took my breath away. Hearing Jon cover Blackbird was one of them. I almost cried, so did several other people. Something about how he delivered that song, seemed appropriate. I know a few people going through some pretty hard stuff right now and it made me think of them. Some of them are close and some are very far away. I just hope they all find the peace and well being they are looking for. Sometimes you have to remember that life gets hardest just before it gets better. When I look back, some of the worst times in my life were followed by some of the most life altering "Ah hah!" moments (To borrow a phrase from Oprah) when things get really hard, I like to think it is Life's way of telling us, "Get back on track!" So all of my friends who are going through hard times, I am thinking nothing but positive thoughts for you and praying for you that it will get better soon.
And in the the world of more do-goodery:
Tonight is The Genius Awards! Got to go get my hair cut at lunch today as this is a dress up event. It is at the fancy new Downtown Library. It is such a cool thing the paper does. They give money to local artists to spend on whatever they need to spend it on. It is completely NSA money. Some use it to fund projects, some use it for much needed health insurance, some use it to pay bills... you get the idea. I'm so glad to be a part of it. It is a really cool thing.

A VERY Happy Friday to you all!

On this anniversary of the day that everything changed.

I was on the bus, on my way to work. It was one of those quiet mornings, the bus was packed, but there was not a sound until someone with a walkman on gasped loudly and said, "Oh no! Oh my god!"
Of course everyone turned their heads to see what the commotion was. He addressed us all like he was suddenly our friend breaking bad news. "A plane just flew into the World trade Center in New York! They are thinking it may have been hijacked!"

I didn't really understand what I just heard. At this point I had never even been to New York, so for me it was kind of a distant land that I had only seen in movies. I knew it was bad, I just didn't quite understand how bad.

I walked into the office where I worked. At the time I was working for a very large corporation who had offices in New York and Seattle. Usually, at this time of the morning, our offices were bustling, but it was dead quiet. I finally called the receptionist and asked where everyone was. She told me to go to the conference room.
I walked in and noticed that almost every one of my coworkers were huddled around the big screen we usually used for presenting new lines (It was a fashion company) It was tuned into CNN. I saw the first tower on screen with smoke billowing out of it and it started to become crystal clear just how big this really was. Then I saw the next plane crash into the second tower. People screamed, "NO!" even the reporter looked shaken. We sat there for what seemed like a really long time and just watched the screen. They repeated it over and over again. Crash, crash, crash....
It was a movie that I wanted to leave, a dream I wanted to wake up from. All I wanted was to go get my daughter and go home and lock the doors and never think about what I just saw ever again.

Then they fell.

I can't even tell you what I was thinking, because I think I just stopped feeling. I went numb. I could not believe it was happening. Nothing I have ever experienced in my lifetime had prepared me for this.

The rest of the day the managers had rolled televisions into all of our conference rooms. We all took shifts sitting in front of the televisions watching the news. Listening to the news tell us of "Possible targets in Seattle" watching those horrific moments on repeat so many times that I will never have to see them again and the picture is so burned in my minds eye I could recreate every billow of smoke, every dot flinging itself off of the building. It is something I can't forget.

The days that followed were just as surreal. People were different. We were all afraid. Suddenly flags went up all over town. Everyone knew someone who was in New York, had just flown the day before, had a friend or family member who was effected or even worse, who had died.

Then there were the recordings of the last calls. The news playing the voices of the dead on a loop.

On 9/10 I had decided to end the relationship I was in. We had talked, we had pretty much ended our engagement. He was going to move out November 1st. On September 12th, we were moving up our wedding date to March. Suddenly, life was short and we were in a huge hurry.
9/11 only put off the inevitable. We eventually got past our fear and came to our senses. We were very good friends, but we were not in love. He moved out that February, after everything started calming down again, after nothing blew up on New Years Eve, after we started to feel our false sense of security again.

Honestly, this day comes, and I try not to think about it. This day comes and I try to pretend it never happened. Not because I don't respect the dead or the loss, but because I don't want that fear to take hold again. That fear is what gives the people who did this to us the control. It is exactly what they want. It is what makes them win.

The more time that passes, the more my memory of that morning fades, the more I can remember the dead and that day but not feel that fear. Someday 9/11 will be a day, for those of us lucky enough to live on to very old age, that our Great Grandchildren will ask us about for class projects and out of curiosity after they hear about it in history class.

They will ask, "Grandma, do you remember what you were doing on September 11th?"

I bet you didn't know!

The very first Red Robin was a biker bar in Seattle with a horrible reputation for drugs and violence. This is the original sign that now hangs near the door of that first Red Robin. Notice anything different about our red feathered friend?

Fashionista in the making?

I came across a photo today that gave me a huge smile. When I was in my last month of pregnancy with Darian I had a lot of time on my hands to sit and wait. She was two weeks overdue, and when you have been pregnant for 9 months, 2 weeks seems like a lifetime! So I spent my time making clothes for her.
Now, you have to remember that I was quite young, and still pretty Goth when I had her. Here are two outfits I made for her from the same material. The first one you can't see as well, but it was a little elf robe with a bell at the end of a hat. The second one made me laugh out loud.
She is only 2-3 months old in these photos. Look at my long black hair! How time flies!

The last days of summer...

Saturday morning, Darian and I got up and had a lovely breakfast. I had a scramble with Artichoke hearts, squash, and a smokey flavored cheese. Darian picked a yogurt Parfait that came out looking more like a dessert! We were missing Jon big time. He is off in Scotland playing a Big Star show this weekend. I always hate it when he has to be gone for three day weekends, but that is how he makes the money, so you got to do what you got to do.
From there we went to get our brows waxed at the local salon. Darian inherited my very thick, dark eyebrows. In a way it is a good thing, because with this type of brow you can get them waxed into pretty much any shape you like! It is easier to start with too much and make it less that it is to start with none and make it more! She also wore her new contact lenses out for the first time, so she looked much more mature than I am used to. All day people were asking us if we were sisters, or if she was my niece. When I would thank them and explain that she is, in fact, my baby they would double take and ask me somewhat rude questions like, "How old ARE you?"
I would just say, "I am old enough to have a daughter that is her age!"
After we finished at our salon we decided to walk downtown to finish up her school shopping. We could have drove, but yesterday was such a beautiful day out, we wanted to take full advantage of one of the remaining summer days.
We went to several stores, purchased new shoes, new jeans, and a few sweatshirts. We have pretty much covered everything she is going to need to look fashionable and fun in the coming year. The last item we still need to buy is a nice winter coat, but most stores don't have those out just yet, so we will be waiting on that one.
After shopping we went to the cinema to catch a movie. We finally got to see The Simpsons Movie! It was really good. Both Darian and I are huge fans of The Simpsons, so it was everything we expected and more. I'm glad I didn't talk to anyone about it before I saw it, or didn't read anything, because the gags were all a surprise and that made it really fun.
After that was over, we decided to pop over to the next theatre and see Superbad. We had been hearing good stuff about it, and figured since we had such a hard day of school shopping, we deserved a double feature!
Suberbad was OK. I predict it will be hugely popular with men, stoners, and 12-18 year olds everywhere. It was a lot of penis jokes. Kind of American Pie meets Porky's without the nudity. I thought the two main actors were very good and I look forward to seeing them in other roles.
In fact, earlier this week, Darian and I went to a free sneak preview of another lowbrow comedy called Balls of Fury. It starred a guy who we saw perform in a musical we went to earlier this year! If it were between seeing Balls of Fury or Superbad again, It would probably be Balls of Fury. It was more of a silly knee slap comedy and I just totally adore Christopher Watkins so much, I'd rather go down that road again if I had to. But really, I don't want to. They both fall under the "I'm glad I saw them for free" umbrella.
We had a somewhat creepy encounter on the bus ride home. When you catch busses after 7PM, the mix of people on the bus changes dramatically. During the day you just get a lot of commuters and business people buzzing around town. Maybe some nannies and stay at home moms using the busses to go to the park or get from here to there. Well, after 7PM you end up with a few shoppers (like us) carrying loads of bags from the downtown stores, a few obvious tourists, and a lot of Who's who in Mental Health.
Generally the rule is "Don't speak, and Don't make eye contact"
This guy got on the crowded bus who seemed to have a godawful case of pinkeye. He had one huge inflamed eye that was tearing up. He sat right across from us. I whispered to Darian to not touch ANYTHING and make sure we REALLY scrubbed our hands the second we got in. The guy was just going to town on his dripping eye. He would not stop touching it. It was really giving me the willies. THEN he noticed Darian and I sitting across from him and pulled out his cell phone. I noted right away that it was a camera phone.
(Now, THIS is a trend that I've noticed recently that really gives me the creeps. Random men take pictures of random women with their cell phone cameras a lot in the city these days. It's happened to me a few times while walking down the street.)
Creepy guy lifts up his phone and I notice he is pointing it right at my daughter. So, I lift up my GIANT Hot Topic bag and very obviously hold it in front of her obscuring his view. Then I give him the hard, "What in the hell do you think you are doing you freak!" mom glare.
I don't break the silence, but my glare and gesture of holding the bag up was really loud, it was pretty obvious what I was doing and everyone on the crowded bus figured it out really quick. He made eye contact with me for a second and looked at the floor all embarrassed, put his phone away and scurried off the bus at the very next stop. As soon as he stepped off the bus, the people around me started talking about how creepy it was that he was trying to take a photo of my kid, and how they thought it was smart how I handled it by holding the bag in his way.
This age of technology is so great and makes life so convenient in so many ways, but it also scares the crap out of me from the perspective of trying to raise a child in it. Parents are faced with so many more challenges these days than ever before. Creeps have so many more avenues to get away with things. You really have to stay alert!
This remided me of the guy who worked at the Cinerama in downtown who was caught with a tiny camera installed in the ladies room just about a month ago. It sucks that I can't use a public restroom until I completely look over every inch of the place for hidden cameras and what not. I know it sounds paranoid, but it is the people who do look for them, that find the cameras and bust these creeps.
I had a friend who was in the changing room of an Urban Outfitters a few years back who found a tiny camera wire in her dressing room. She pulled it out and followed it to a small camcorder shoved behind a display. She just threw the camera in her purse and waited around. A little while later a guy showed up frantically looking for something. He didn't work there, he had just been in there "trying on clothes" and he said he lost something. (This is another reason I hate stores with unisex changing rooms as well. I will buy stuff try it on at home and return it if I need to. I won't even shop at a store if they don't have a full refund policy and they only offer unisex changing rooms.)
She watched him look everywhere the camera was supposed to be. She said she enjoyed his panic. She left and tossed the camera in the bin after destroying it. She would have turned it in and turned him in, but she knew that it had video of her changing as well, and she didn't want her nudity going in as evidence. She already felt violated enough. She figured it would take that creep a long time to get another one since it looked pretty expensive. I would have handled it differently, but she was the one who was violated, and that was her reaction to it.

Today, I'm taking on the lazy Sunday slowly. Seems my girl came down with some kind of stomach flu late last eve. She crawled into bed with me about 3AM and we were up late getting her sorted. Poor baby. She is resting now and I am just getting my first cup of coffee. Luckily, Netflix sent her three of her favorite movies this week (I use Netflix for her because they tend to stock more of the Anime than our local video stores do) so she can just rest and watch movies all day while sipping Ginger ale until she feels better!
Maybe I will get some laundry done? Probably not.

Freaky Sunday.

Or: Why we didn't get to see The Simpsons movie even though we bought tickets twice in one day.

Darian got back from Grandma's yesterday. SO GOOD to have her home. I missed her a lot. She got back early so we went to do phase one of getting ready for back to school. She got a haircut and we bought the first round of new shoes, clothes, and stuff for back to school.
Today, we went downtown to go to Sephora and buy some makeup with the gift card I got from Chris for my birthday (THANKS AGAIN CHRIS!) and then go see The Simpson's movie.
Well, we got to the movie and the time was wrong. We thought it started at 3:50 when it really started at 3:10, so we exchanged our tickets for the next show and went to Sephora.
When it was time to go back we headed into the building, and we were evacuated!! Turns out someone pulled a fire alarm or something. They said they will let people back in, in about 20 minutes. We decided to go over to the next mall and chill in the food court to wait it out.
While sitting in the food court, I started to notice a weird tickle in the back of my throat, I start to clear my throat, and both Jon & Darian say they feel like they have something in the back of their throats. We start to cough, and then we realize that EVERYONE sitting around us (About 30-50 people) all start coughing at the same time!
Then we see a small group of cops standing across the room with things covering their mouths and coughing.
I will tell you, in this day and age, when you are sitting in a food court and your throat starts feeling on fire and everyone around you starts coughing all in unison, it is enough to trigger a minor panic attack. People start clearing out fast, coughing and covering their mouths. We ask the cops, turns out someone opened a can of Mace or something like that in that part of the food court. Neat. Glad they informed us all!
So, we leave and head back to our theatre as the evacuation of THAT place was over and our movie was about to start.
WELL, when we get to the front they tell us that The Simpson's movie was the ONLY movie effected by the evacuations and was running about 20-30 minutes behind.
We all agreed right then, that today was NOT the day to be downtown. Too much weirdness and we were all feeling pretty sick from the gas in the other place.
So, we got our second refund of the day and came home.

I guess we will have to see The Simpson's movie another time.

Doh!

Flavor of the Month:

Part of the difficulty of being married to someone who has a public job is that it makes it harder to trust people who want to be your friend. To let someone get close to you is a lot more difficult because you have to wonder what motivates them. You have to second guess everything, and put every action under a microscope. It is exhausting for a small town girl like me who is naturally open and friendly. Every now and then someone slips by my personal motives detector and eventually it throws a full-on monkey wrench into my life.

What is worse, is that Jon has been doing this forever so he can spot it coming from a mile away. So the times things have come up since we have been married, it has always been me who has opened the door and welcomed these people into our lives. Not only do I get burned and hurt by said monkey wrench, but I also get to hear "I told you so!" which is every wife's favorite thing to hear! I am learning to be harder and more closed off and private, but I really hate that I have to change who I am fundamentally just to make this life work.

This story is what motivated me to write this:
I heard from a very dear friend who is married to someone who is in a very popular band. Not too long ago, when she was at a show following him to the stage with a video camera, (Because he had asked her to catch some of the show on tape) she was attacked by three teenage girls in the crowd. She didn't see it coming at all because she had the camera up to her face. She said that out of nowhere she was punched in the stomach, hard, she hit the ground and then the other two started jumping on her back. Luckily she was only bruised, but it could have been much worse. They are a young couple, they could have just as easily been trying to get pregnant at this time. Think of what could have happened.

Why did they do this to her? Have they ever even met her?
No.
They did it because she is married to the rock singer that they have a crush on so they saw her as nothing more than an object standing in their way to what they wanted.

For me, this story illustrates perfectly how I feel. How a lot of the wives and girlfriends of people in the public eye feel. We look away for a second and we get sucker punched in the stomach and then get stomped into the ground. For what? Just because some little sycophant decides that our husband somehow belongs to them. The arrogance!! It truly astounds me.

Men who are married are not available, regardless of whether or not they are famous, they are not available.
When you are trying to climb into their beds you are not only sucker punching their wives, but you are sucker punching their babies and children, their families, their close friends, their careers. You are basically pissing all over everything that I consider precious and holy in this whole wide world.

Home Improvements

With the nip in the air that is the first sign of the end of summer approaching fast, Jon and I took a look around and decided that we need to make some major home improvements since we will be spending loads of time indoors soon.

With Department store credit card in hand we went to our local home store to look at several fancy things this weekend.
The short list:
A new couch
A portable dishwasher
A smaller coffee maker

I never realized how hard it is to buy a couch until this weekend! It is easier to buy a car!
We went to the nifty little section of the store that looked like 20 little living rooms all set up in a row. We were immediately approached by a very eager salesperson. There didn't seem to be a whole lot else happening in that particular department at the time because while he was telling us about the super sale they were having and all of the features on this particular model couch, there were 4 other salespeople lurking just behind us. It was the most customer service I've ever seen and a teeny bit unnerving.

We felt fabric swatches, sat on, stretched out on, jumped on... every style couch you can think of. We decided that we need a couch that converts into a bed for when we have visitors.
We have a small apartment that we are pretty fond of, and after much debate on the subject, and looking at a lot of apartments around town, we decided that we want to stay here for at least two more years. After that time we will buy something in an area with a good high school for the kidlette. So we want to make the most of the space that we have and still be able to accomodate cofortably when friends and family visit us.
Buying a couch is serious business. There are so many things to consider! We found one overstuffed lovely that was even on sale that we came *thisclose* to purchasing, but after I did a little Internet sleuthing we decided we will hold off a few more months to make that particular purchase during the after Christmas sales. Turns out they need to sell out as much as possible at the end of the year before taxes, so we could save several hundred dollars.
So after several hours of shopping, and several trips to the store, we have no new couch... yet.

Then we looked at portable dishwashers to replace out current dishwasher (Jon). I fell in love with this little Maytag model that I think would be perfect and it really isn't too expensive for how much joy it would bring into our lives. But because this building is so old, and the water pressure is not as great as it could be, we have to hold off until we have a professional come by and test our pressure to see if it is compatible. I fear that it will not be.

Even the coffee maker was too hard to find! Since I am the only coffee drinker in our apartment, I have been wasting a lot of coffee every day. I make a half pot, pour a cup and end up dumping the rest. I've been dreaming of one of those little two cup coffee makers like they have in hotel rooms. It would take up less counter space as well! Sadly, we could not find one with an auto shutoff, which seems pretty important to me!

So, there was a lot of shopping this weekend, but we didn't buy anything.
Scratch that; I bought an amazing new pair of knee-high boots for fall. I guess that counts for something! I can't wait for it to get cold enough to rock them!

Carnivale!

Today is the first Tuesday of August, so that makes it the day of our Annual neighborhood block party. It also makes it a press day, and a super long press day at that. Didn't even step out of the office until almost 8PM.

Right now my neighbors are all gathered around the building having a Gong Show! For reals! It is actually really sweet. It seems that Karaoke is the talent for the day. Some people are not half bad. I keep hearing cheers and laughter. It makes me happy. It reminds me of what a wonderful neighborhood we live in and what a sense of community this little place has. We have so many interesting characters around here. This is a writer's wonderland for material. It is the sort of place I always imagined raising my children. It is why, even though we have been consistently getting rent increases every 6 months on the nose, we stay here. (We have looked around a lot over the last few months since our last increase and really, there is no better deal, unless we want to live in a slightly more isolated part of the hill. Still close, but not in the center of the community like this place is.)

I like that my child has grown up knowing these people, and living in this city. If I had not had such an exhausting day I might even have tried my hand at a little Karaoke, but instead I think I am going to pour myself a nice tall glass of cold Iced Tea and enjoy the wonderful people who live and laugh around me every day.


Happy First Tuesday of August everyone!

Carys

Another adorable photo of my new niece! Look at her smile. TOO SWEET!

Just be. Every tomorrow is a new chance to start over.

"Bright light, dark shadow. Sometimes you just can't get past it." This line is a quote from a very sweet blog written today by a very talented
MS/LJ-friend of mine, PKM. It really touched me, and got me thinking so I felt I had to re-post the line and elaborate on how it made me feel.

This line touched me because I have known many people throughout the years, friends and distant relatives, that the sentiment describes perfectly. People who really do have these great big hearts that are so full of potential and magical minds who seem to be so bound by anger, fear and pain that they always seem to have a dark shadow of paranoia looming over their path.

It is as if they are always swinging wildly in the dark with their eyes closed tight trying to take down anyone who gets close to them or tries to reach out to help them.
It makes me sad, because I think living your life, walking around with so much anger and hate all of the time must be incredibly hard. (Not only is this a mental illness, but I also really believe that living like that is connected to illness such as Cancer. Not the only cause by any means, but how can it not be? Hatred in it's own right is a Cancer.)

I really do feel for anyone who goes through it and lives like that every day. It is the exact reason I want to go to school to become a therapist or a nurse someday. Maybe get the opportunity to help people like the ones I have lost to mental illness over the years, before they are beyond help?
I wish there was something that I could do to help them now, but at the end of the day, they can only truly help themselves.

A person so hell bent on hurting themselves can't be cured by all of the love in the world, they would not know what to do with it. They need to want to help themselves first. I had to learn that the hard way several times in my life before it stuck.

The first step to any recovery process is learning to really love/believe in yourself, the rest will follow.


PS- thanks so much PKM for the inspiration!

************************************************************
"I picture you in the sun wondering what went wrong
And falling down on your knees asking for sympathy
And being caught in between all you wish for and all you seen
And trying to find anything you can feel that you can believe in

I know I would apologize if I could see your eyes
cause when you showed me myself I became someone else
But I was caught in between all you wish for and all you need
I picture you fast asleep
A nightmare comes
You cant keep awake

cause if I find
If I find my own way
How much will I find
If I find
If I find my own way
How much will I find
You

I dont know anymore
What its for
Im not even sure
If there is anyone who is in the sun
Will you help me to understand
cause I been caught in between all I wish for and all I need
Maybe youre not even sure what its for
Any more than me

May gods love be with you
Always..."
In The Sun by Joseph Arthur

Birthweekend!

It was not just a day, it turned into an entire weekend event!

I almost forgot to mention the fact that my office surprised me on Friday afternoon with a mouthwatering cake from some cute little bakery downtown, doughnuts in the morning, and roses on my desk when I got to work. OH, and they got me a card that plays the chicken dance song! Too adorable!

Then the party last eve was so much fun! I figured it would just be a low key party with the usual suspects at our local watering hole, but so many people turned up that I have not seen in ages, it was such a great surprise! My friends spoiled me with wonderful gifts from Sephora, lush and my favorite coffee place as well as some other cool things. (My Mom made me a beautiful purse & wallet that she gave me when I saw her on Thursday, I will have to post photos of it soon!)
Licia brought a cake that was chocolate with white frosting and red roses and had a delicious Bavarian cream center. When 20+ sing happy Birthday to you, you really feel like you have bee sung to!! Even the old guy walking by on the street outside joined in since it was a nice night and they had the front open.

I ended up having two friends stay over since they were in no shape to drive, so this morning they treated me to Brunch. Now I am all tuckered out and ready to cat nap all day and watch movies.

Like I said, I have the greatest friends ever. They make me feel super loved every day. I'm so lucky to have them in my life and I love every single one of them like family!

Birthday.

Today is my birthday. Bree and I kicked it off last night at the stroke of midnight at this magical place called Manray, or as I have dubbed it "The happiest place on earth"
She and I went to see some poetry and then she suggested we go there to ring in my new year. It was completely different than my usual rock clubs, but I found it to be refreshing and fun and everybody was so nice (and so beautiful!).
The DJ even announced my birthday and played songs for me.
In a lot of ways it reminded me of a place we used to go to in Alaska when I was still a teen, so it gave a shot in the arm of that youthful feeling.
Tonight I'm celebrating with several more of my lovely friends. I'm a very lucky girl as I have the greatest friends ever. I feel very loved.
What more could one ask for on their birthday?

July's mixed CD (Before the month is over)

This mixed CD was not so much made up of my favorite songs by these artists, but by the songs that I can "see" when I hear them. As in, they start playing and I can almost see the scene in the movie they would be accompanying.

(Bonus points if you know which movies the ones that have already been in movies were in.)

You Should Be In Pictures

A Hazy Shade of Winter- Simon & Garfunkel
How Soon is Now? - The Smiths
I Want You- Elvis Costello
Want to be Bad- Tegan & Sara
Oceans Cracked- TubeTop
Make Good Choices- The Vernacular
Freeze the Saints- Stephen Malkmus
Think (Let Tomorrow Be) - Sebadoh
Do I Move You- Nina Simone
Sell All My Things- Rosie Thomas
I Finally Found a Jungle I Like- The Posies
Cemetery Song- Jon Auer
Méchant Pétard- Plastic Bertrand
Regret- New Order
Sick Of Myself- Matthew Sweet
Ultimatum (Live)- The Long Winters
Step Back- Letters To Cleo
Honey And The Moon- Joseph Arthur
You Are What You Love- Jenny Lewis With The Watson Twins
Baby's Coming Back To Me- Jarvis Cocker
Plainclothes Man- Heatmiser
Learn to Live With What You Are- Ben Folds
Various Stages- Great Lake Swimmers
I Won't Dance- Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong
Mental- Eels
We Both Go Down Together- The Decemberists
Car- Built to Spill
Starz- Broadcast Debut
Lady Sweet- Big Star
Dumb It Down- Bell
Crowds- Bauhaus
Runaround- Arlo

Hearst Castle Shortbread Cookies

I made cookies tonight. I got the recipe from this wonderful blog. They turned out perfect. Light and YUMmy! I rolled a portion of them in cinnamon just for an extra zip. I am looking forward to having them with coffee tomorrow!

Hearst Castle Shortbread Cookies

This is a shortbread inspired by the version published in The Castle Cookbook by Marjorie Collard and Ann Marie Lopez. The end result is a perfectly light and buttery shortbread cookie with just the right amount of sweetness.

4 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
3/4 teaspoon fine grain sea salt
1 pound unsalted butter
1 cup powdered sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 vanilla bean (optional)

Preheat oven to 350F degrees. Sift the flour, baking powder, and salt into a medium bowl and set aside.

In a mixing bowl beat the butter until light and fluffy. Add the powdered sugar and beat again, scraping down the sides of the mixing bowl once or twice as you are mixing. Beat in the vanilla extract. If you have a vanilla bean slit it open along its entire length, scrape out the vanilla bean paste from the interior of the bean, and add this to the mixer as well. Add the flour mixture in two additions. Stir until everything comes together into a thick dough.

Turn the dough out onto a counter top and divide into two pieces, there is quite a bit of dough, so cutting it into two pieces just makes it easier to roll out later on. Press each piece of dough out into a flat patty an inch thick. Wrap each piece in plastic and chill completely in the refrigerator - about thirty minutes. When the dough is chilled, use a rolling pin to roll the dough out 1/4-1/2-inch thick. Cut the dough into desired shapes using cookie cutters or a knife and place on a parchment (or Silpat) lined baking sheet.

Bake for 7 to 10 minutes, or until the bottoms of the cookies are barely golden.

Makes 3 or 4 dozen tiny cookies - more or less depending on the size of your cutters.

Peter Pan-ish

There was one of those Aura photo booths set up at this fair I went to. Just for fun I decided I would go ahead and get mine done. When my photo was developed the guy running the booth gleefully exclaimed, "You have the Aura of a child! I've never seen this before in a full grown adult!"
Wondering if I had just been insulted, I asked him to explain further.
"Oh no, it is not a bad thing. Children are more energetic and their minds are open, and they have higher ESP. When we grow up we get tired, and busy and stressed and we close up. But not you! You are full of crazy energy and your mind is wide open. If you focused your energy you could blow the doors right off of this place!"
He was all lit up and excited when he was explaining this, it was sweet, but I figured he said that to all of the cute girls.
"It must be all of the coffee I drink." I teased.
"No, this is a very good Aura, you are a special girl!" He insisted, "See that white light above your head? Those are the spirits that are always with you. Not everyone has those."
That part didn't surprise me. So many people I have loved have died. If there are spirits that follow us around, I would be one to have an army.
He went on to show me other people's photos, and he was right, all of the adults had one solid color, the only people with layers like mine and that white and purple outer layer were the kids!

Well, we all like to feel special, and I am not one to refuse a compliment, so there you have it. You heard it here first. Even though my birthday is a week away and I am turning 147 years old, my Aura is not a day over 7! Oh, and I am never alone. I hope at the very least they don't peek when I am in the shower!

Here's the interpretation thing:
Red/Hot Pink: desire, vitality, power, the urge to win, to have success, intensity of experience, action, doing, love of sports, struggle, competition, force of will, leadership, strength, courage, passion, eroticism, earthiness, practicality, desire for possessions, sense of adventure, the survival instinct. A majority of young children and teenagers especially boys, have bright red auras.

Green: perseverance, tenacity, firmness, patience, sense of responsibility and service, self assertiveness, high ideals and aspirations, dedication, puts high value on work and career. Ambitious desire for respectability and personal attainment, deeply focused and adaptable. Green is also the color of growth and of dedicated parents, social workers, counselors, psychologists, and other persons focusing on creating positive change in the world.

Violet or Purple: magical, original, tends to be unconventional, often has psychic abilities, unusual charisma and charm, the uncommon ability to make their dreams come true, or manifest their desires in the material world, wish to charm and delight others and can easily connect with higher planes of consciousness. Playful, nonjudgmental, tolerant of others' eccentricities. Sensitive and compassionate. People who have purple auras appreciate tenderness and kindness in others. Not especially practical, they tend to prefer to live in a dream world of their own creation. You'll find many "violet or purple" entertainers, movie stars, free thinkers, visionaries, revolutionaries, and otherwise singular and magnetic individuals. Dark violet could indicate a need to take charge of their life, or perhaps, that the person needs time to spiritually ground himself or herself.

White: spiritually motivated, the ability to be open and receptive to the divine, or spiritual world. Can merge with ALL THAT IS. Probably unconcerned with worldly matters or ambition. Inner illumination, cosmic wisdom characterise the white energy. Young children, energy workers, and people who meditate intensely often will show bright white in their auras. Generally, white does not often appear in the auras of adults.

Lucky.

At lunch today I decided to poke my head in the thrift store next door to my office.
It was just a quick walk through to see if there were any new coats/vintage clothes/handbags.

I noticed a somewhat unremarkable bag that looks like it was circa 1940-something. I picked it up and opened it for no particular reason. Inside it had a teeny change purse. I opened that as well. In there were two of the most beautiful silver and rhinestone vintage looking earrings. They were so shiny and new looking that I initially thought they were knock offs made to look vintage. The purse was obvz the real deal as far as being from the 1940's so I thought there was a slim chance they had just been sitting in that change purse since the 40's.

I went to the counter and asked the guy what he would charge me for these earrings. I explained how I had come across them. He seemed interested in doing as little work as possible, so he said, "They are yours for 99 cents!"
DEAL!

I figured that even if they were knock offs, they are REALLY pretty and you can't beat 99 cents!

They have a marking on the back. I came back to the office and googled them. Turns out they are from 1941 Eisenberg ice collection. I found a pair on a website they are selling for $125.

I don't think I will sell them because they are so pretty and in perfect condition. It makes me wonder if they really did just sit in that change purse for the last 66 years waiting to be found by me.

Here she is!

My new niece, Carys Lynn Price. I swiped this photo from my brother's blog, you can see more of her there! Congrats big brother and lovely Laura. You two are in for an awesome ride.

She looks a lot like Darian did when she was a newborn. Too cute. Takes me back...

Also, Happy 55th birthday to my daddy!