Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Maybe it isn't that I'm afraid of failure, maybe I'm afraid of success?

*List of 10 projects/classes I have started over the last few years and not finished:

1- Making art envelopes out of cool black and white photos. They were really neat, but people don't send letters anymore so I dropped it.

2- Making mosaic boxes with broken CDs. Again they were cool, but the grout was hard on the CD surfaces so it was a pain not to scratch them all up.

3- Painting- So many unfinished sketches, half finished projects, ideas on scratch paper in my purse and hanging on my fridge.

4- Children's book. Wrote a great story, laid it out, never finished the artwork.

5- Fire spinning classes. I had big ideas until I realized that at some point I would have to actually light the wicks I was spinning around.

6- A collection of short stories. I was on a roll with this one for a while, but then I got distracted.

7- Knitting and selling scarves. I made and sold a bunch of scarves. Got to the point where I could make them in my sleep. Quit after the first mail order person "lost it in the mail" and I had to give them a refund. (Basically someone got a free scarf, one of my best actually. I lost faith in people.)

8- Making baby clothes. I made some really cute stuff, but lost interest when I got too busy being a mom.

9- Collage project. I have been collecting clipping for this thing for nearly 5 years and still have not started it yet.

10- That f*ing novel that has been "this close" to being finished for almost 4 years now. I know how it ends. All of the words are in my head. I don't know why I can't get myself to sit down and finish it. It is seriously only a few chapters away from the end. I think it is good, people who have read it have told me it is great, but I think I am afraid if I finish it, and it turns out that it really isn't good it will break me.

*This list doesn't even touch on the photo, film and music projects that I just recently started.


Deb Hardman said...

Ok daughter, get a grip here. My friend Kate said, "You're not really a quilter (insert Artist here instead) until you have at least 6 projects going & unfinished at all times". It's ok not to have all these things done, just pick one that you would like to finish...say by August 31st, & work on it. Set a goal. It's ok if you start other things in the mean time, but set aside some time each week, to work on the one thing that you're going to finish by Aug. 31. When you've met that goal set another. Eventually you'll get a lot of things done! Just this once listen to your mother! I have 4 things on a list that I will finish by the end of this year. The 1st is to be done by June 1st. Guess I better get downstairs & work on it now!If you can't decide which to do first, pick your top 3 or 4, assign each a number,& draw the number randomly.
I love you!

KPT said...

Michelle - You might find a certain article on my blog of some little value in relfecting on our fears...or perhaps not. At any rate, should you be at all interested: http://kevinpaultracy.blogspot.com/2005/11/fear-weakness.html

Let me know your thoughts if you have time.


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