Saturday, May 13, 2006

I dreamed a dream that made me sad...

I had a really strange and detailed dream last eve. I just woke up from it and felt compelled to write it out before it slipped from my mind. I'm certain this will be full of grammatical errors and typos, but I just want to get it down. I will go back and fix those things later.


I was living in this small town. It reminded me of a dustier version of Eagle River, AK in the summertime. There was a lot of wide open space without houses or cars for miles.
I was hiking up a hill/mountain of sorts until I came to a clearing where there was a little store. The store looked old and a little run down, but it seemed like it could be open for business still. I walked in and was taken aback by how cute it was inside. It was like the shelves were stocked from a lost time. They had sodas in tall glass bottles and cans with labels that looked like they would be more comfortable on the antique road show.
A very handsome young man was behind the counter. He was dressed as if from another time as well.
“I feel like I just walked into a different time!” I giggled nervously to him.
“What do you mean?” he asked
“Oh, I see, this is like the renaissance fair where you have to go for authentic right?” I said gestering at his outfit with my hand.
“Um sure...” He said and then asked “Are you a painter?”
He was looking at the easel and box I had under my arm. I was in fact out scouting for something to paint.
“Indeed, I am.” And then I asked, “Would you mind if I painted this place? It is perfect.”
“As you wish.” He answered with a smile.

I set everything up and started sketching. I decided I would paint the detail of the place but he would be the main focus of the piece. There was something very beautiful about him that I wanted to get on a canvas.

We chatted about everything. It was the kind of conversation a couple would have on a first date that was going really well. By the end of the day I found myself opening up to him in ways I don’t open up to even my closest friends. I was not getting a lot of work done because I was talking so much, but he had already agreed to let me come back as often as I wanted until it was finished.
“I don’t get a lot of customers here this time of year.” He said, “I would appreciate the company.”

Then time was just sort of moving in fast forward as is common with dreams. I just kept going back to the store and he was always there. I painted, we talked and we fell in love.

I was at a place with the painting where I needed to detail his face. I was always working with filtered lights coming through the cracks in the shades. It was bright enough to see, but to get the details I would need better light.

“Would you mind if I pulled up this blind so I could get a better look at your face?” I asked as I started to search around for the string.
“Sure.” He said, “So I was thinking I would like you to come meet my family. I have been telling them about you. I would really like to introduce you to them.”
I found the string and started tugging at it. “That would be great! I'd love to see you outside of this store...” I started to say as the blinds finally gave and started to roll up. I turned to him and said,. “Now let’s see that handsome face!”
The light poured into the room in a long square shaft that fell across the counter and the man behind it. I gasped when it hit his face, closed my eyes and dropped the blinds.
“Is there a problem?” he asked
“Um, no... I’m just having trouble with the blinds.” I told him. I closed my eyes hard, gave myself a little pep talk and pulled the blinds up again.
I opened my eyes, the light hit his face and I saw the thing that made me drop them the first time. I started to roll them up and down and staring at him.
Whenever the light would roll up his body it would change to a nearly transparent thing. He reminded me of the mummified corpses I have seen in museums and on the history channel over the years. He had a kind of transparency to him that made him seem projected on the wall behind him.
Suddenly it became clear to me why no one else had ever come into the store in all of the time I have spent there. Why the phone never rang, why I never saw him eat or drink. He wasn’t real. He was a ghost or a figment of my imagination or something, but he wasn’t real or human.
“Do you need me to help you with that thing?” he asked and started to walk towards me and out of the sunbeam.
When he stepped out of the light he was the man that I have been talking to for what seemed like months. The man who had been giving me butterflies, who I had been sharing all of my spare time with. He was flesh and bone and as real as I was. He didn’t seem to have any idea what he really was, and I suddenly found myself wanting to protect him from this knowledge because I feared if he knew he might vanish and I would lose him.
“You know… I think the lighting with the shades down is better for painting after all.” I told him and dropped the blinds.
“You are an indecisive one aren’t you?” He said and closed the distance between us, “Since I am over here…” he whispered, “There is something I have wanted to do for days now.” and he kissed me.
Initially the kiss sort of freaked me out since I just found out he was not alive or human for all I knew. I resisted but then gave in to the fact it was the warmest, sweetest kiss ever.
I could not tell him what I knew about him because I was in love with him. I needed to protect him from the truth.

More time passed and I came back every day. We got closer, the seasons changed and soon there was snow on the ground.

One wintery afternoon I walked in to see him and he greeted me with “I have a surprise for you!”
“What is it?” I asked
“Well, I spoke to my parents and they would love for us to come spend the holidays with them! I know they will love you!” he told me with the biggest grin.
“Um, I'm not sure how that's possible…” I started grasping for an explanation for why I don’t think we could leave this place but he cut me short.
“You don’t want to meet my family?” he was getting obviously agitated, “I am beginning to feel like you're ashamed of me or hiding something from me. Don’t you feel the same way about me as I do about you? Is it too much to ask for me to want to introduce the woman I love to my family?”
“That isn’t it, you don’t understand,” I tried to explain; “It is complicated. I am only trying to protect us.”
At this point he was getting really upset and he started to sort of glow and pulse. I was getting really scared. The walls were shaking, things were falling from the shelves and the room began to feel like it was spinning. Suddenly the painting fell from the easel and landed hard on the ground with a loud thud.

This is when I woke up, came to my computer and typed it all out before I forgot it.


Anonymous said...

Thank you for letting us peek inside your head. It is a beautiful if not slightly bizarre place.
You should make movies.


Deb Hardman said...

Sounds like a good beginning for a Stephen King novel!

Maybe he was a spirit guid or someone from a past life?

BTW Happy MD!

Michelle Auer said...

It would be a fun story to finish if I had any idea as to what was going to happen next! :-)


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