Sunday, July 05, 2009

As Seen On TV

In honor of Darian's favorite TV infomercial personality, the late Mr Billy Mays, I'm doing a quick rundown of my As Seen On TV experiences.

Things I've purchased that I saw on TV first:

Caruso Molecular Hairsetter: The first time I saw this infomercial I was about 18 years old. It had an actress from Days of Our lives doing the selling. It looked so easy and uncomplicated that I had to buy one, thus making it my very first purchase from TV.
I'm happy to say it worked better than I ever would have imagined and now, almost 20 years from my first purchase, I've owned 3 and use it at least 5 times per week.
They are getting harder and harder to find, and they are very different looking than the hot pink odd shaped version that I bought off the TV, but it is basically the same. If there ever comes a time where I can't replace it when the motor dies, I will be screwed in the hair department. I've seriously considered buying 10 just to have a lifetime back stock.
Rating: Does it do what it claims? Yes, Yes, a thousand times YES!

Smooth Away: On the infomercial for this product you see happy women exclaiming how they never have to shave again while using some sort of pink sanding device to painlessly remove their hair. Since shaving is not my favorite pastime, but I hate leg hair on me more, I thought I'd give this a try. It does work, the hair is eventually removed, EVENTUALLY being the operative word here.
I found it taking about 6xs as long to "Shave my legs" with this as it does with my lady Bic, and it is painless at first. About 5 minutes after I was done non-shaving with this device my skin started to burn. In trying to removed the hair, I basically gave myself a form of rug burn. Imagine how it feels after the first night of heavy making out with a guy with stubble. (Ladies, I KNOW you know what I'm talking about) that is how it feels. I only tried it on my legs, poor D started with her pits and could not put her arms down for the rest of the night.
Rating: Does it do what it claims? Yes, it removes hair
Painlessly or easily? Epic FAIL!

The Ultimate Chopper
: A friend gave this to me as a gag gift after I told her about my obsession with infomercial products. They should re-name this product: The ultimate food masher. I would love to get a lengthy description, but mine broke the second time I tried to use it. The first time I managed to smash a tomato and to partially obliterate an onion the rest had to be knife cut.
Rating: The box was more interesting and useful than what was inside it.

Loud N Clear: It is a personal sound amplifier. On the commercial it shows a woman trying to watch TV while her husband is snoring away, I was sold. Does it amplify sound? Oh yes, it does. Could you hear someone from across the room quietly whispering about you? No. Not at all. In fact, if you turn it up loud enough to where you might be able to hear, and you are standing still enough to where nothing is rustling around the amp, you might be able to, but you are risking hearing loss the first time someone coughs nearby. Oh, it also has the charming habit of feeding back in your ear.
Rating: Sure, it amplifies sound, EVERY sound, if you don't mind risking hearing loss this is for you!

The Ped Egg: This "egg" claims to remove all of the dead nasty skin on your broke ass feet. It looks a lot like a Parmesan cheese grater, I'm not entirely convinced it is not. It works though, almost too well, and it comes in black "For Men". I bought one for Jon and he loves it too. Just don't rub until you hit blood, because you will!
Rating: Fun for the whole family!

Bare Minerals: Since the first time I used this stuff I've been in love. I've thrown out all of my other makeup and cringe at the thought of using liquid foundation ever again. Five years ago I would not leave the house without caking some sort of liquid foundation on. My skin was a mess and I was spending way too much on prescriptions and expensive bases to keep it clear. Since the first time I used Bare Minerals, I have not been to a doctor about my skin, and I have not even thought about using liquid foundation. It is just as amazing as they make it sound on TV. I've even converted several of my friends. My skin breaths and it doesn't break out anymore now that I'm not clogging it up with foundations. I can't say enough good stuff about it. It is certainly a desert island item. (That is if I cared what I looked like on said island)
Rating: Why would anyone ever use anything else?



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