Monday, November 06, 2006

A dream unusual of its kind

The nightmares have started again. I was blissfully without them for a blessed few months but they came back full force this weekend. Last night's dream was so scary I woke up at 4AM clutching the blankets around me and shivering. I had to put my glasses on and turn on the lamp before I could calm down. I almost went and crawled into bed with Darian, but decided against it. Instead I curled up with Buddy who always seems to be right there when I wake up like that. It is like he knows.

That is the hardest part about sleeping alone. Most of the time it is a bit of a luxury. You can sprawl across the bed, leave the TV on whatever channel you want, arrange the pillows just right and roll all over in your sleep without disturbing anyone. I don't sleep well, so it is a challenge to sleep next to me. The big downside comes when you wake up from a nightmare and you are not sure if it was a dream or if it was real and you don't have someone to grab ahold of who will whisper that it was just a dream and it is OK to go back to sleep.

Saturday's dream was full of Zombies. These zombies would turn you into one if you looked directly at them. I was walking through the dream with my eyes closed, bumping into things, hearing awful things going on around me. It was a strange dream because it was completely audio. The most frightening part was the blackness and the fear of opening my eyes. I could hear people poking out their own eyes just to avoid accidentally looking at the zombies. Totally freaky and horrible.

Last night was just a whole new level of dark and still too fresh to even try to describe because, frankly, I am still a little afraid of it. It was scary because it was a lot more believable and realistic than zombies. It's theme was something that could really happen.


Deb Hardman said...

Do you think maybe your subconscious was saying that you're going though life with your eyes closed? Is there something you need to face but just can't?

I used to have a repeating nightmare, that used to terrify me, it was very dark, & the light switches never worked.

Once I understood what it meant, just a fear of the unknown, the nightmare stopped.

Big warm hugs & kisses to you my girl. I love you.


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