Monday, November 06, 2006

A dream unusual of its kind

The nightmares have started again. I was blissfully without them for a blessed few months but they came back full force this weekend. Last night's dream was so scary I woke up at 4AM clutching the blankets around me and shivering. I had to put my glasses on and turn on the lamp before I could calm down. I almost went and crawled into bed with Darian, but decided against it. Instead I curled up with Buddy who always seems to be right there when I wake up like that. It is like he knows.

That is the hardest part about sleeping alone. Most of the time it is a bit of a luxury. You can sprawl across the bed, leave the TV on whatever channel you want, arrange the pillows just right and roll all over in your sleep without disturbing anyone. I don't sleep well, so it is a challenge to sleep next to me. The big downside comes when you wake up from a nightmare and you are not sure if it was a dream or if it was real and you don't have someone to grab ahold of who will whisper that it was just a dream and it is OK to go back to sleep.

Saturday's dream was full of Zombies. These zombies would turn you into one if you looked directly at them. I was walking through the dream with my eyes closed, bumping into things, hearing awful things going on around me. It was a strange dream because it was completely audio. The most frightening part was the blackness and the fear of opening my eyes. I could hear people poking out their own eyes just to avoid accidentally looking at the zombies. Totally freaky and horrible.

Last night was just a whole new level of dark and still too fresh to even try to describe because, frankly, I am still a little afraid of it. It was scary because it was a lot more believable and realistic than zombies. It's theme was something that could really happen.


Deb H said...

Do you think maybe your subconscious was saying that you're going though life with your eyes closed? Is there something you need to face but just can't?

I used to have a repeating nightmare, that used to terrify me, it was very dark, & the light switches never worked.

Once I understood what it meant, just a fear of the unknown, the nightmare stopped.

Big warm hugs & kisses to you my girl. I love you.


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