Sunday, September 24, 2006

You make me feel like I am home again...

There are songs that are so bound to my emotional memories I can hear the first few notes of the bass line and I swear I am 16 again.
I get a sudden rush of emotions from that time in my life. Even the air starts to smell like it did in the fall of 1990.
This avalanche of emotions takes me over. The anxieties I was feeling at the time are as real during this three minute song as they were back then.
I remember that there was a boy and he was my whole world. I would have done anything for him. I remember his crooked smile, and the way he could make my heart hurt in a way only a first love can. I remember how he changed me. How he made me trust a little less, made me believe a little less, made me understand that there are no "happily ever afters" only "devils you know".
I allow myself to remember because I know that someday she might ask me about him and I have to try to remember as much as I can so I can tell her everything I know.

Then the song ends
and I am here again
and so happy that part of my life is behind me.

2 comments:

Marcy said...

my gosh I remmy that you look same since u was younger and I am glad that u are happily married right now and keep up in ur life ! and i wish to hear but I cant hear because you are song girl !

Deb H said...

My girl, I'm sorry to hear your sadness. I wish somehow I could make it all go away. I love you honey-girl. I'm thinking about you, & your little family. I wish life could slow down & we could really spend quality time together. There's sso much I'd like to say, so many things I wish I could pass on to both you & Darian. Did you read about your aunt Mel? I'll be in Homer for the next few days. Hugs & love & happy birthday wishes to Jon.

 

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