Saturday, October 22, 2011

Sliding Doors

“Wherever we are now is just a step on the way to somewhere else. Whatever we do and however well we do it, it is only a preparation to do something else, something different than what we are doing at this moment.”
-Robert Louis Stevenson

No matter what you believe about fate, destiny, a bigger plan, or if you believe we just happen to exist and whatever will be will be, you must agree that life is fascinating!

The most important players on the stage of my life have all entered and exited throughout the years as if on cue. Sometimes going on nothing more than a gut instinct, I've made major life decisions, and I must admit, I am generally pleased with the outcome.

There has been a lot of change in my world over the last year. The most simplified version of the story goes like this: I got divorced, I met a man, I fell in love, I am very happy.
In some ways, even that story seems too intimate to share with all of the internet, but I feel that if I do not ever address it in any way, I will never be able to go back to the open dialog you have all come to expect from me over the years.

The story I came to share today is one of fate, destiny, or maybe it is just a story of random coincidence? I don't know, but it fascinates me nonetheless, and fills my brain full of romantic ideas and what-might-have-been's.

I will preface this story by telling you that I have always been a strong believer in life finding a way to direct you. If I feel like I am running into one road block after another and the universe is seemingly against me, I know I have veered off course. When I am on the right course, it seems like roadblocks no longer matter and things fall neatly into place.

Ten years ago I was sitting at a table at The Showbox having dinner and celebrating the holidays. The bands due to play that night were bands that my ex boyfriend played in (who turned out to be my future husband). I sat at the table with my then fiance (who I didn't end up marrying) to my right and a newly engaged lady to my left. Next to her was her fiance. Since we were both newly engaged, we spent a large portion of dinner chatting about wedding plans and ideas that we had. We were two young, happy girls, newly engaged and in love. It was a fun night! I was likely introduced to her fiance, but I don't really remember meeting him. I mostly remember talking to her about plans, and weddings, and being a little nervous about seeing Jon play after so much time had passed.

The girl eventually married her fiance, but I didn't marry mine. (Mine eventually met and married a woman who I have a lot of respect for and could not imagine anyone better suited for him. I am so happy they found each other!) I eventually reconnected with and married the ex who was playing on stage that night. I don't recall ever meeting the girl or her fiance again over the next many years.

I had no idea how significant that night was until now.

That night, sitting two seats over from me, was the man I am with now. The woman I spent the evening speaking to was the woman he married and eventually divorced. In those next ten years we have lived this parallel life, never meeting, but many times standing in the same room at the same show, we shared some of the same best friends, worked blocks from each other for years, but somehow never crossed paths until we were both single again. There were so many times we almost met had just one small act been altered, one different decision made.

The more I know him, the more stories we share, the more we find just how much our lives have been intertwined over this last ten years.

Since we met, things have become so easy. My career has taken off, my art has become more focused, my general level of happiness has greatly improved. I feel lighter and unburdened in a way I didn't think possible. Life is really very good. I am exactly where I am supposed to be, I am sure of it.

I've talked a lot about love and fate and destiny over the years, on the pages of this blog. I've shared my stories of how I've followed my heart and where it has lead me. I have lived some wonderful romantic real life fairy tales, and I am not trying to lessen those experience because I have a new, wonderful love.

Those stories were real, and perfect and tragic, and everything else you can think of. But what I have learned is that life doesn't stop once you are settled down. As long as you are breathing, you are growing and evolving as a person, and sometimes that means moving on from one thing and on to something new.

The past was just a chapter in my personal story, and I fully intend on embracing all of these future chapters with an open mind and heart, and a head full of wisdom collected from the past.

There are so many opportunities to love and live and find happiness given to us in this life. Our only job is to keep an open mind and heart, learn what there is to learn, embrace those opportunities and allow ourselves to live fully without regret.

Life is too short for anything else.


Deb Hardman said...

Applause, applause!

Good for you DD!

I'm so glad to see you happy!

Did you realize that I was the same age you were when your dad & I divorced? I hope this peace & love remains with you forever forward.

Mrs. Britty said...

So very happy for you!


Two going on twenty. Template by Ipietoon Cute Blog Design