Down Time

I will never apologize for who I have been
Only for who I have hurt along the way
Speak in riddles and people will listen
Tell the truth
They will cry or turn away

In some radical sense of perception
I saw the future
In another way
Or was it the past in another life
I can never really be too sure these days

Who raises the child when the parent still needs to grow?
They say it takes a village
It must take a lifetime to get there.

This body is whole and young and beautiful,
with eyes that give too much away.
My blood has turned against me and my brain battles with my heart, with my soul for control of it’s actions

A liquid lover
I drink your spirits
I try to fill up
But I am left empty.

So many people grasp and reach out
Looking for the magic word
The perfect phrase
The ray of hope that makes it all better

That key is locked away some place inside
So deep I wonder myself if I will ever reach it.

I see it all slipping through my fingers,
Just as I think I can hold on again,
Some days it all seems to click
Like I have all of the answers
That seemed so out of reach
Now everything makes sense

Then I touch my heart again
And realize how very open the wounds still are
How the scars have made me harder and the scabs are fragile
How easy it is to fall again

I have seen bodies where the flesh is weak and frail but the spirit soars
I want to touch that
I want to find that in myself

Some say it is in God, meditation, self-discovery, and recovery.
Some say it is all in the mind
A choice

Funny, I don’t remember being asked if I wanted this.